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All Obamaworld Citizens To Be Branded

When Barry Hussein Obama becomes the world's Enlightened Prince of Hope next year, people will be literally lining up to get their new permanent Obamaworld tattoos, on their foreheads. Obama's campaign has already produced a staggering array of Obama-logo variations for every race and birthplace and interest. The "mark of the Beast" has never looked so good!


The "Speak Up" weblog has painstakingly catalogued all the endless race/gender/age/U.S. state versions of the beloved Obama logo, which in its natural state looks like .... We don't know, a Pepsi logo? A Pepsi logo of Hope?

Just slap a gay Care Bears rainbow on the thing, and it's OBAMA PRIDE:

Make it look retarded, and it's a "Kids for Obama" logo!

Put a blinding light that destroys all reason in the middle, and you've got an Obama logo for the born-agains:

But the Obama people have predictably left out some other groups who are very important to the 2008 election cycle. For example, where's the Obamaworld corporate logo for meth addicts, or the Klan? We'll get you started with this great new Obama logo for Ron Paul fanatics:

The Hardest Working Presidential Candidate Logo [Speak Up]

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Photo by Daniel Stockman, Creative Commons license 2.0

It's Sunday, and that means it's time for a break from the ongoing grind of awfulness out there. Let's dive into some cool, funny, thoughtful stuff to fortify ourselves before we get back to the daily madness, shall we?

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After watching President Arty McDeals twist in the wind for a month, IRL politician Mitch McConnell finally decided to throw the mook a lifeline. Despite constant screaming about women with duct tape over their mouths, Trump is getting blamed for the shutdown and even his own supporters are starting to turn on him. So Ol' Yertle summoned Mike Pence and Jared Kushner to his chambers for some #RealTalk.

"Tell Donald that he has to offer something so it looks like the Democrats are the ones who won't compromise." He said. (Probably.)

"That's great," squeaked young Jared (allegedly), "Democrats are desperate. We've got them right where we want them." McConnell blinked hard.

"No, Jared," he probably said. "They're not going to take the deal. We'd have more luck getting Mexico to pay for it. The point is to offer something silly so they turn us down, and then we try to convince the public that the shutdown is Democrats' fault."

"I don't get it," said Jared (allegedly), as Mother's boy Pence furrowed his brow and sighed through his nose. (Not allegedly, it's his signature move.)

"I know," Mitch might have said. "Believe me, I know."

Which is how President Teleprompter wound up giving a MAJOR ADDRESS yesterday offering to hold off on deporting some of the Dream Act kids for a hot second if Democrats will just give him $5.7 billion for WALL and let him expel future child arrivals without a hearing. Trump himself rescinded protections for up to a million immigrants brought here as kids as soon as he took office, but he'll let some of those hostages go if Democrats will just give him cash for that WALL that Mexico is "indirectly" paying for. Heck, he'll even let 300,000 people who fled war and natural disasters and put down roots here over decades to stay a little longer, if that's what it takes. He plans to deport them all in three years anyway, or else use them for another round of hostage negotiations. (If we re-elect That Orange Idiot, spit on the ground/sign of the horns/God forbid.)

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