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Alleged Sex Creep in Peter Pan Hat Is Prominent Oregon GOP Politican, Of Course

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The spring season of political sex scandals, like the presidential campaigns, like the bland and uninspired bickering of Congress, like the campaign ads' lack of demon sheep, masturbating witches and Basil Marceaux, are so boring that we are sharing this tale of a dim Oregon GOP lawmaker who had consensual, heterosexual sex with his staffer: "A former aide to Deputy House Republican Leader Matt Wingard (R-Wilsonville) has accused him of giving her alcohol when she was underage, pressuring her to have sex, and keeping her on the public payroll after she ended the relationship with him and stopped reporting for work." In reality this still sounds pretty bad, but your Wonkette was not sold until we came across the above picture of Wingard wearing a silly hat to work. This is how actual editorial processes work in professional newsrooms. (News editor: "Eh, kill the story unless there are good pictures." Chief photo editor/intern slave: "We have one of the guy fellating a corn dog." News editor: "Great, I'll put a reporter on it.") This makes it a good enough process for your Wonkette. Anyhow, Wingard has now resigned his leadership post in shame. Hooray!


None of our above commentary-rant is to detract from the fine muckracking done by Portland's Willamette Week in its story on Wingard, however:

According to the DOJ report, the woman says Wingard gave a speech at the party, and later “the two had a conversation wherein she jokingly stated he should hire her.”

Wingard did hire her in early 2010. Not long after, at the age of 20, she attended the Dorchester Conference, the annual GOP gathering in Seaside. She told a Clackamas County Sheriff’s Office investigator Wingard gave her beer and “was persistent that she drink the beer.” She said she felt “dizzy” after drinking a beer and a half.

“Her legs began to feel numb, and she began to lose feeling in her body,” the sheriff’s report says.

She told the sheriff’s investigator that Wingard later invited her by text message to his room, where she found him “in his bed with his shirt off.”

The woman told investigators she can’t remember what happened after that.

“She said the next thing she knew she woke up in the morning and was in Rep. Wingard’s bed under the covers, but was fully clothed,” the DOJ report says. “She said Wingard was next to her on top of the covers, clothed as well.”

After that, she told DOJ investigators, Wingard “pursued her by constantly asking her out for drinks [and] dinner and sending her text messages. She said on several occasions he asked her to send dirty (sexual) text messages to him. She said she agreed to do this because she felt if she didn’t he would not talk to her and it made her work environment hostile.”

Wingard resigned his post as Deputy House Leader but not his seat in the wake of the allegations. He is also a terrible human who beats his child with screwdrivers and he should be eaten by dragons. [Willamette Week/Oregon Live]

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Yesterday afternoon, 45-year-old Gary Martin of Aurora, Illinois was let go from his job at the Henry Pratt Company, a factory that manufactures water valves. In response, he took out a pistol with a laser scope and began shooting at random. He killed five people and injured six others who were just trying to make it through the day at the water valve factory, and then the police killed him.

His mother said he was "stressed out." He "seemed fine" according to the clerk at the Circle K where he bought his cigars that morning. His neighbor thought he was a nice guy. Some people were surprised, others were not.

This kind of thing used to be shocking, but it's a story we're used to now. It gets repeated at least once a month. It's just what happens now, and we can't do anything about it because we can't do anything about gun control. This is, the Right has decided, just the price we all have to pay so they can stockpile guns for funsies, and take sexy pictures of guns shoved in their pants. This is the blood that waters their special tree of liberty.

It's fucking exhausting. And stupid. We shouldn't have to live this way. No one should have to live this way. But we do. Why? Because some day some yahoos might want to overthrow the government, which is (of course) a completely legal thing to do, and their "right" to do that must be protected. So it's literally just never, ever going to stop.

Gary Martin, like most other mass shooters, also had a history of violence against women. In 1994, in Mississippi, he was convicted for stabbing one. He should not have been able to get a gun after that. I would like to know how and why he was able to get that pistol with the laser scope that he killed five people with yesterday afternoon. Maybe someone gave it to him. Maybe he bought it somehow. Maybe someone forgot to do a background check. Maybe he bought it from someone who didn't have to do a background check.

I am so goddamned tired of writing this article. I am out of things to say.

[Sun-Times]

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That's right, Wonkers, while we're all up here in America dealing with the terribleness, your Editrix and her fambly are in MEXICO AT THE BEACH, where they will probably stay for a little while longer or maybe they're never coming back SHRUGGIE EMOTICON. But that's OK, they deserve some time to be AT THE BEACH in MEXICO, oh no, don't get NATIONAL EMERGY CARAVANNED!

Yeah, so it's time to count down your top ten stories of the week, like we do on Saturday mornings. Shall we? WE SHALL.

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