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Allen West Finally Surrenders, Kills Political Comedy Forever

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Let's "open the kimono" here for a minute: Your Wonkette does not want this great nation of ours to be run by perverts and crazies; but, in another sense, your Wonkette needs this to be the case, because pervert/crazy politicians bring in the pageviews and associated ad moneys. That's why the endless vote-recounting wackiness in Florida, in which Allen West was always losing but just close enough to demand further recounts, was a best-of-both-worlds situation for us: he wouldn't be allowed to actually participate in the governing process, but he would stay in the spotlight and be ludicrous for our amusement. We even heard rumors that he was planning on showing up for work at the Capitol every day, and would get into fisticuffs with security guards, which would have been hilarious! But instead he just up and quit, like a little baby.

Politico has the scoop (and has West's complete statement of surrender on page two). It's remarkably non-sullen and gracious, considering that Allen is an actual crazy person and war criminal. It seems that he has chosen to make peace with reality as we humans understand it, this one time:

While there are certainly still inaccuracies in the results and the actions of the St. Lucie County and Palm Beach County Supervisors of Elections rightly raise questions in my mind and for many voters, after much analysis and yesterday’s recount in St. Lucie County, our legal team does not believe there are enough over-counted, undercounted or fraudulent votes to change the outcome of the election.

But ... this is the sort of thing that we could have probably guessed two weeks ago! Why all the hubbub, Allen West?

That led to a wild few weeks: Tea party activists rallied to West's defense, raising money in preparation for a protracted legal battle.

Hahaha, we're sure that money will find a good home, in some dumb WestHeroFreedomPAC that will help him parlay two years in office into a lifetime of employment in the endless Republican speech-making/think-tanking/motivational-speaking circle jerk.

Anyway, what was your favorite part of the magical bygone era when Allen West was someone who was "in the news"? You should scroll back through the Wonkette Allen West tag while joy-weeping, obviously, but we're partial to that time he got hopped up on bloodlust in Iraq and wrote a letter home to his wife demanding she be his porn star. What sort of grim stuff going in the West bedroom tonight? (Hugging and weeping, we're guessing.) [Politico]

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Well, goddamn it, a wonderful person we'd never heard of until last night is dead. Lyra McKee was 29, an investigative journalist who specialized in looking at the legacy of "the Troubles" in Northern Ireland. She was murdered by someone shooting at police during rioting in Derry, or perhaps Londonderry, depending on who you want to piss off by using either name for the city. The rioting broke out after police "started carrying out searches in the area because of concerns that militant republicans were storing firearms and explosives" in advance of attacks planned to mark the anniversary of the 1916 Easter Rising. Police are blaming the violence and McKee's death on the "New Irish Republican Army," a radical republican group formed a few years ago from several smaller groups. Despite the name, the group has no ties to the old Provisional Irish Republican Army, which renounced violence and disarmed in 2005 following the 1998 Good Friday Agreement, which was supposed to have brought peace to Northern Ireland, and kind of did, at least much of the time.

McKee is being remembered by colleagues and readers as a promising journalist who was expected to go far. A year ago, McKee signed a two-book deal with Faber & Faber; the first of the books, The Lost Boys, an investigation of eight young men who disappeared in Belfast during the Troubles in the '60s and '70s, will be published next year. A 2016 Forbes profile said "McKee's passion is to dig into topics that others don't care about." For instance, CNN reports, McKee spent five years investigating a story about the only rape crisis center in Northern Ireland and its long struggle to regain funding after the government eliminated it.

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