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Along With George Allen's Presidential Ambitions, Taste and Humor Are Also Causalties of Macacagate

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Four days in, and what hath Macacagate wrought?


  • The end of George Allen's presidential ambitions.

  • A week's worth of material for us (thanks, George!).

  • A shitload of bad Internet art.

Please, people, if you ain't got the skills to pay the bills, then stop writing bad checks. Or at least stop sending them to us. A rundown of some of the bad macaca-themed art we've received this week, after the jump.

It's been a banner week for bad art at Wonkette. We've seen cartoons:

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The monkey later shat on the T-shirted man's head

We've seen lame jokes:

people should not get down on sen. allen regarding his recent use of the term "macaca" to describe a dark-skinned democrat monitoring his campaign speeches. there is a long, venereal tradition of the use of the word going back to the early years of our great republic. to wit:

"Our cause is noble; it is the cause of macaca!" -- George Washington.

"...the only thing we have to fear is macaca itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt.

"Ask not what macaca can do for you; ask what you can do for macaca." -- John F. Kennedy.

"I am not macaca." -- Richard M. Nixon.

"Macaca did not have sexual relations with that woman." -- Bill Clinton.

"My comedic instincts are macaca." - The Author Of This Post

We've even seen bad poetry:

Here's to an Allen named George!

A coward with no Valley Forge,

(VA's KKK

Swears he ain't gay.)

"Macaca!" is all he'll disgorge.

Now, we love our readers, but, please, STOP SENDING US BAD ART!!! Besides, no matter how hard you guys try, you'll never come up with anything that's worse than what we've already got. You guessed it:

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You know it doesn't get worse than that.

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One of the most common things to say in America, just behind "Happy Birthday" and "NO COLLUSION," is "Mitch McConnell should go fuck himself." It works for all occasions, whether you have just stubbed your toe or whether you are in the middle of your wedding to your sweetheart. Try it!

But why should Mitch McConnell go fuck himself at this particular moment? Let's look at the top three current reasons!

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Sucks to be you, Pat Shanahan! The acting Defense secretary is currently under investigation for preferential treatment of his former bosses at Boeing, who just got busted letting planes fall out of the sky if buyers skimped on the upgrades. Shanahan was never a favorite of Trump's, and now his chances of getting made Big Boy For Real Sec Def are decreasing by the day. Which means that he's going through all this shit for nothing! Womp womp!

What shit, you ask? Well! Last night Shanahan announced the first tranche of the "found" money the DoD is shifting over to fund WALL in defiance of Congress's constitutional spending powers. The Defense Department will be transferring the cash from accounts meant to support military personnel into "anti-drug funding," which they've decided means they can use it to build "18-foot-high pedestrian fencing, constructing and improving roads, and installing lighting within the Yuma and El Paso Sectors of the border." Already pissed off about the fake EMERGY declaration, although not pissed enough to override a veto, congresspeople on both sides of the aisle are hopping mad that the Trump administration dicked them around for months, shut down the government, forced them to negotiate for wall funding in good faith, and then said HA HA SUCKERS, WE'RE JUST GOING TO STEAL IT FROM THE RAINY DAY FUND ANYWAY!

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