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Along With George Allen's Presidential Ambitions, Taste and Humor Are Also Causalties of Macacagate

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Four days in, and what hath Macacagate wrought?


  • The end of George Allen's presidential ambitions.

  • A week's worth of material for us (thanks, George!).

  • A shitload of bad Internet art.

Please, people, if you ain't got the skills to pay the bills, then stop writing bad checks. Or at least stop sending them to us. A rundown of some of the bad macaca-themed art we've received this week, after the jump.

It's been a banner week for bad art at Wonkette. We've seen cartoons:

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The monkey later shat on the T-shirted man's head

We've seen lame jokes:

people should not get down on sen. allen regarding his recent use of the term "macaca" to describe a dark-skinned democrat monitoring his campaign speeches. there is a long, venereal tradition of the use of the word going back to the early years of our great republic. to wit:

"Our cause is noble; it is the cause of macaca!" -- George Washington.

"...the only thing we have to fear is macaca itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt.

"Ask not what macaca can do for you; ask what you can do for macaca." -- John F. Kennedy.

"I am not macaca." -- Richard M. Nixon.

"Macaca did not have sexual relations with that woman." -- Bill Clinton.

"My comedic instincts are macaca." - The Author Of This Post

We've even seen bad poetry:

Here's to an Allen named George!

A coward with no Valley Forge,

(VA's KKK

Swears he ain't gay.)

"Macaca!" is all he'll disgorge.

Now, we love our readers, but, please, STOP SENDING US BAD ART!!! Besides, no matter how hard you guys try, you'll never come up with anything that's worse than what we've already got. You guessed it:

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You know it doesn't get worse than that.

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Even Dinsdale was frightened of Doug ... He used sarcasm. He knew all the tricks: dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and satire.

Yr Wonkette is no stranger to the double-edged weapon of sarcasm, we'll admit. OR WILL WE? It's part of our postmodern toolkit, with which we seek to undermine patriotism, faith, the free market, the family, and ultimately America itself. Duh. But we would never be so naive as to think we have a monopoly on irony and sarcasm, oh no, far from it. This week, we dip into the sludge of deletia for some brilliant examples of cutting rightwing wit turned back on us, with devastating results. Hope you're not all TRIGGERED so much you have to go find a SAFE SPACE, libs!

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This weekend, hundreds of people are gathering in Denver, Colorado for the 2018 Flat Earth Conference -- two whole days of people with suspiciously Andy Warhol-like hair yelling "Where's the curve?!?" and talking about ice walls -- and we are missing out! Flat earthers are kind of the best of all conspiracy theorists, because aside from a few fascists and anti-Semites in the mix, they are mostly harmless cranks who just want to feel like they are way smarter than all of the scientists. As far as I know, believing in a Flat Earth, while stupid, has never hurt anyone -- which is honestly kind of refreshing these days!

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