Oh god how do we write an article when we loathe everybody involved? Oh wait, we do that every fucking day here at yr Wonkette. But - today is a special epic valley of dumb people fighting. It is a veritable Grand Canyon of dumb. Ladies and Gentlemen, we give you Amanda Bynes on the Obamas, some dude from Think Progress who clearly does not spend time on the internet, and a recap by Michelle Malkin's Twitchy:
First, we had a statement by walking talking best celebrity performance artist since that weird Joaquin Phoenix thing, Amanda Bynes:
As Amanda Bynes tweets go, this one doesn't really even make the cut. We're dealing with a woman who sorta kinda wished Parkinson's disease on Drake so she could prove she would still love him:
and the woman who declared herself a hero for having fucktons of plastic surgery:
aaaannnd the woman who reacted to her arrest for bong-hurling by, you guessed it, deciding to get plastic surgery:
So for us, and for most people that pay attention to weirdness on the internets, the POTUS/FLOTUS hate passed unnoticed. Not, however, to intrepid someone-or-other dude at Think Progress who apparently had never heard of the illustrious Ms. Bynes:
Once again, people with ANYTHING better to do on the Internet probably ignored blogger-dude who apparently lives under a delightful rock that shields him from the likes of Amanda Bynes, but the Twitchy Team saw a chance to spring into action and screechpile on about how blogger dude is the reeeeeaaaaaallll racist, take a golden opportunity to pimp a Michael Savage book, and actually provide a useful service by recapping who else Amanda Bynes has called ugly. (Partial list: her sister, Miley Cyrus, Lance Bass, Courtney Love, your mom.)
Thanks to Twitchy's signal boost, blogger dude has now had to spend the day fending off Michelle Malkin's flying monkeys, like so:
and we had to spend time writing about this and waste our beautiful minds. The things we have to endure for you people. Nobody knows the trouble we've seen except all of you because you had to read this. Everybody loses, the end.
