AMBER ALERT: Ron Paul Supporter Has Kidnapped A Girl!
Dear Ron Paul Supporter Who Apparently Kidnapped a Girl So He Could Videotape Her Wearing Ron Paul Undergarments: Do not hurt her. Please let her go. This is probably the first time you've ever done anything like this, and you're white and probably have an okay job in tech support, so there's a good chance you'll get out of prison in three to five.
Ron Paul Girl [via Crackpot Press]