John Kerry will not run for president in 2008, according to "a Democratic official." The Senator from Massachusetts will instead run for reelection, organize grass-roots support for ending the Iraq war, and say something colossally stupid the Friday before the '08 elections.

The last time a Senator from Massachusetts ended up in the White House, they shot him, so Kerry and Ted Kennedy ought be grateful that they'll be allowed to stay in the Senate proposing nonbinding resolutions until they keel over and die during the middle of the 2032 SOTU, which we're pretty sure is what happened to Henry Cabot Lodge.

Kerry most recently made headlines for personally causing the New England Patriots to lose the AFC championship.

2008: Kerry Not Running [NYT]