America Swoons As Elena Kagan Is Voted By Senate Onto Supreme Court

There she is, Miss Supreme Court. There she is, your ideal. At long last, Elena Kagan has gone from the cocoon of Senate confirmation hearings and emerged a beautiful judicial butterfly. In what is now a great American tradition, Kagan made sure not to answer a single question during the entire marathon, and now the Senate has voted to confirm her, and now she is your new John Paul Stevens. The vote was 63-37. Lindsey Graham yelped and lept in the air in excitement when the final votes were tallied. "Ham biscuits!" he squealed, probably, but we aren't completely sure because we wrote this post in May.

The court's liberal wing is expected to now include Kagan and thus be 75% women. It is also expected that for every vote Stephen Breyer will make this face and turn to Kagan, Sotomayor, and Ginsburg and say, "Laaaaaaaaadies?"

And now we can resume another great American tradition, waiting for Antonin Scalia to die. Ham biscuits!


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc