America's Churches Will Shut Down Because 'Young Adults' Don't Ever Go To Church


'Jesus fucking christ!'A fun new study by that Pew Research group finds that only 65% of "millennials" (young adults) consider themselves to be Christian, and only half of the alleged Christians even understand the central tenet of the religion: That the Jesus character is the only way to be "saved" by God, the purported "second daddy" of Jesus. Overwhelming majorities of these 18-to-30 year olds don't go to church, avoid that weird Bible book, and only half of these nutty kids even believe in God at all!

Says some Christian operative trying (and failing) to convert the kids: "The Millennial generation will see churches closing as quickly as GM dealerships." Ha ha, let's hope so. And let's hope they're the big dumb suburban ugly-ass stucco mall/warehouse/steel building churches that sit like poop upon our already trashy American landscape.

And there's little chance any of these people will ever join a church, even as old folks staring blankly at Death. Studies show that young adults who either drop church or never went will almost always never return or never pick up the habit. And less than one-in-five protestant kids forced to go to church as teen-agers will continue into their twenties.

"Unless religious leaders take younger adults more seriously, the future of American religion is in doubt," says Princeton sociologist Robert Wuthnow in After the Baby Boomers, due in stores in September.

The proportion of young adults identifying with mainline churches, he says, is "about half the size it was a generation ago. Evangelical Protestants have barely held their own."

Experts say all these dumb "millennials" also lack the only thing organized religion has been known to offer rudderless losers through History: a moral compass. [USA Today]


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