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Jon McNaughton, the Art Genius who documented true historic events like Jesus handing the Constitution to George Washington and Barack Obama burning the very same Constitution, is back with another masterpiece, this one titled "National Emergency." Truly a fine example of McNaughton's work, which combines the fine art techniques of Thomas Kincaid with the subtle political commentary of Ben Garrison and an army of Twitter trolls.


The very timely "National Emergy" comes, as with all McNaughton Fine Art works, with an online answer key, just in case you don't get the very subtle symbolism. McNaughton artsplains:

In my new painting, the Democrat establishment declares victory against President Trump as he announces a national emergency to secure the border. They proudly hold the flags they represent and cherish. Our politicians have become traitors to this country, in most cases they are more loyal to whichever country, lobbyist, corporation, or special interest group that will keep them in office and line their bank accounts. I'm sick of how they trample our flag and do not seek America's interests first.

So what un-American flags are the Democrat Bad Guys brandishing? Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi have pledged undying loyalty to Mexico, because Jon McNaughton thinks Central American refugees are Mexicans. Bernie Sanders is waving a Chinese flag, because he is a commie, never mind that we've never heard him praise China, but surely he's a secret Maoist. Barack Obama holds the UN flag, and Elizabeth Warren has the flag of the European Union, because we despise our useless "allies" too. Rashida Tlaib brandishes a Palestinian flag, and the top half of Ilhan Omar's face peeks out over Chuck Schumer's shoulder; we suspect she was added at the last minute, so she gets no flag, because where is she even from? Hillary Clinton holds the flag of Iran, because remember all the times she said she wishes America could be Iran? Or not nuke it until it glows, same thing.

We have to say we're a teensy bit puzzled by the flags held by Maxine Waters (California) and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (New York) because we'd assume a rightwing loon like McNaughton would LOVE him some states' rights. Haha, of course we are joking -- those are two places that are barely even part of America and may as well be expelled. Which would make Donald Trump a foreigner, but let's not accuse Jon McNaughton of ever thinking things through.

Donald Trump sadly prays over a dead doll, which McNaughton says was "left behind by a little girl forced to make the dangerous journey," because she had very bad parents who wouldn't let her die in Central America like they should have. Instead, that poor little girl had to die in Border Patrol custody, and just look what her parents made us do!

Doctor Zaius, would an ape make a human doll that TALKS?

So sad and tragic, the uncaring monstrous parents. As everyone knows, the only people who should undertake a dangerous journey to the USA are Europeans in the late 19th century, because it was totally different then, and actually the stuff of legend. But now we're full, just like we were already full when America enacted the Chinese Exclusion Act and the Immigration Act of 1924.

Maybe McNaughton agrees with Laura Ingraham, who explained on Fox News that the proper way to ask for asylum is to stay in the hellhole where you are. Look, "If you want to apply for asylum, that's fine. But you should do so in the safety of your home country."

Fact Check: To apply for asylum, you have to set foot in the US. That is actually the law. A person who's safe in their own country would be -- by definition -- ineligible for asylum, what with the whole "fear for your life" thing. You could look it up! Ah, but at least we know what's sad: bad parents trying to save their children's lives. SHAME ON THEM.


But what about those terrible migrant invaders? In the background of the painting, a horde of Caravan Zombies fills the entire horizon as it makes its way to the completely open border, which is again a factual depiction because Democrats are too busy trampling the flag and loving Europe/California to even build WALL. They have no faces, because they aren't real people. All you need to know is that the zombies also carry a foreign flag, because they are INVADERS. McNaughton explains:

Every year hundreds of thousands of foreign nationals march to our southern border and cross into our country. Who are they? What right do they have to come here?

Dangerous drug smugglers, human traffickers, and other criminals enter our country without permission, while many more wait in line legally hoping for the American dream. These law breakers cost the American taxpayer over 100 billion dollars a year and have a disproportionate level of crime in our population. President Trump only asks for 5.7 billion dollars to secure the border, so why won't the politicians let him do it?

That's some impressive bullshit there! Hell, McNaughton doesn't even waste any time with "some, I assume, are good people" -- nahh, they're ALL criminals, even the ones waiting in line. McNaughton is at least right about one thing here: Undocumented immigrants really do commit a "disproportionate" amount of crime, if by disproportionate you mean far less than native-born citizens.

In conclusion, Build the Wall, America First, Exterminate the Brutes. And be sure to specify whether you want the $29.00 10 by 15 lithograph (unframed), or the deluxe 30 by 45 inch limited edition "Giclée canvas print" (literally, it's a big inkjet print) on canvas, individually signed and numbered, for just $705 plus framing. Because hustling the rubes is the greatest American value of all.

[Jon McNaughton Fine Art / Max Kennerly on Twitter]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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