America's Greatest Pretend Rep Will Return
What is the best possible news to start your late Friday morning with? How's this: DraculaCunt's back! Shelley Sekula-Gibbs, Congresswoman for seven of the best weeks of our lives, revolutionized social security and revamped the entire tax code during her brief congressional tenure, filling in for Tim DeLay before actually-elected replacement Nick Lampson got to town. She also pissed off DeLay's staff so much that they all quit en masse. Ever since she left DC she's been promising to return, and a Wonkette operative reveals that the DraculaCunt '08 campaign is already underway:
Shelly Sekula-Gibbs, who kept Tom DeLay's seat warm until Nick Lampson arrived, is kicking off her Campaign 2008 effort by sending out wacky ass e-mails to people who don't even support her. She's actually asking for money to take on "Slick Nick." Her unique combination of hysteria and desperation should be hard to ignore. Don't forget to cover Shelly. She's the gift that keeps on giving.
Don't worry, we'd never forget Shelley. Down with "Slick Nick"! Send us these wacky emails, Shelley, we need you back here!