America's Winning Response to Eight Years of Bush & Cheney
Mitt Romney joined his "successful" nemesis John McCain on the campaign trail yesterday, and they raised some cash from Mormon Fat Cats and other mountain men in Denver and Salt Lake City. They even rode together on John McCain's stupid little plane. But Mitt wants to be McCain's vice president, and McCain wants to woo the "Romney Wing" of the Republican party -- Space Elves -- so they had to play it nice for the cameramen. Look at how gay they were with each other yesterday, ha ha! The full gay photo tour, after the jump.
Here they are boarding McCain's plane, which he couldn't afford until earlier this year, because no one liked him and now like twelve people do. Mitt thinks, Hey, I look pretty walking up these stairs and Torture Boy here looks like a gosh darn Salt Lake turtle. "I can't wait for him to die," Mitt says out loud, while daydreaming about his alternate, successful life. Luckily WALNUTS! didn't hear him, because he cannot hear sounds.
That is Utah Governor Jon Huntsman, who also wants to be McCain's vice president. He too is a Mormon, which is why he wears the shiny Mormon haircut, as well as magical underpants. John McCain wears no underpants at all, and there have been no terrorist attacks on America since 9/11. Coincidence?
LOOK AT MITTENS "MITT" ROMNEY THE ORANGE SHRIVEL MONSTER & CORPORATE FAIRY.
Mitt receives the signal in his secret earpiece. Mittens... MITTENS do you read... have ye delivered the space poison betwixt the old man's ears?, the voice says. Yes, Lizard-Zeus, Mitt responds via telepathy to the Mormon Jesus, I thrust four droplets of the space poison in his right nostril when he fell asleep, watching Mexican "futbol"... Oh golly! That was not the space poison, just malt vinegar that I keep on my person at all times. Mormon Jesus hisses, Romney hears his slimy phlegm splatter across the velvet moonscape. You have failed Lizard-Zeus again, Mittens.
So all in all they made some good money yesterday.