An Anti-Choice Lady Made A Sitcom And It Is Like A D&C For Your Brain

Media/Entertainment

If there is anything conservatives love to complain about, it is the evils of Liberal Hollywood. They love to claim that there is some kind of evil conspiracy keeping conservatives from being big time movie stars (except for Mel Gibson, James Woods, and at least half the cast of Deliverance) and from writing and directing movies about things from their perspective. And that's true. We very rarely see heartwarming films telling the stories of bakers who just want to be allowed to discriminate against gay people or hero insurance executives saving their companies from financial ruin by refusing to cover someone's cancer treatment.

To that, I always say, "Well then make your own movies! Do your own things! What do you need our help and approval for? Whatever happened to personal responsibility?"

Well, sometimes they oblige.


Janet Porter is an anti-choice, anti-gay activist who is the president and founder of Faith2Action, a Southern Poverty Law Center-designated hate group. She is best known for lobbying for so-called Heartbeat bills and Partial Birth Abortion bills and other dubiously described bills. Oh, and for being a spokesperson for Roy Moore during his 2017 campaign, because if there is anything a lady of upstanding Christian moral character loves, it is an adult man who gets kicked out of the mall for leching after teenage girls.

But that's not all there is to Janet Porter. For Janet Porter is an artiste. Or at least she'd like to be. Porter debuted the pilot for a sitcom at something called a "Harvest Fest" — a sitcom titled "What's A Girl To Do?"

It's not about abortion, as far as I can tell. Rather, Porter plays a woman who is trying to find love and also write a book about how she is trying to find love. It is supposed to be funny, I guess.

I watch a lot of Lifetime movies. Like a lot of Lifetime movies. I have an incredibly high threshold for bad acting (particularly in cases where a homicidal maniac is trying to steal someone else's life and/or baby, which just never gets old). So when I say this is intolerably bad, I know what I am speaking of. If this is what rightwingers think is funny, then I can see why they have been so upset with Hollywood lo these many years.

Also I really can't tell what's supposed to be going on with the long-haired guy. Is it supposed to be a Ross and Rachel thing? If so, why is he so incredibly creepy and repulsive? Are we supposed to not want to abort his baby? Why are they doing the Monkees walk? Why is she in a shopping carriage? What is happening here? Is the other guy her boyfriend? If so, is her search for love not over? Does she not now know what a girl is to do?

I don't ... I got nothing.

Curiously enough, this is not Porter's first attempt at ... whatever this is. As Hemant Mehta of Friendly Atheist pointed out, she actually almost produced a film in 2016 that was also called What's A Girl To Do? because apparently she just thinks that's a really incredibly clever title for something and cannot let it go unused. Latebreaking news, What's A Girl To Do is ALSO the title of her dating book, which I am putting on the Commie Girl Industries company credit card RIGHT THIS MINUTE, because Rebecca just made me. It is also the title of the theme song of the show, and, we can only assume, the name of her cat.

The movie, I guess, was an anti-abortion romantic comedy in which Porter fell in love with the son of a pro-choice politician. It was to star Victoria Jackson as Porter's best friend, Stephen Baldwin, Mike Huckabee, and Steve King, and honestly I'm a little sad that it never happened beyond the trailer (BELOW!) because I would really like to take a ton of drugs and then watch that. And I don't really even do drugs.

For this, I would make an exception.

If Liberal Hollywood is preventing conservatives from making art like this, they are doing us all — including conservatives — a massive favor, and we should thank them for their service.

OPEN THREAD!

[Right Wing Watch]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. In addition to her work at Wonkette, she also has a biweekly column at Dame. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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