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'An Evening With the Joe's': History's Greatest GOP Meeting of Minds

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Tonight, history will be made. "Join the launch of the historic effort to Defeat Barack Obama with America's most influential and conservative 'Joe's' at the pre-launch party," says the invitation. "No," you're thinking to yourself. "But — it's impossible, right? They can't get allthree." OH, BUT THEY CAN. The Tea Party Express' Our Country Deserves Better PAC is pulling out all the stops and apostrophes for "An Evening With the Joe's," featuring Joe Miller, Joe the Plumber, and Sheriff Joe Arpaio. (Apparently McCarthy couldn't make it.) And according to an e-mail sent out by the Tea Party Express' Joe Wierzbicki (WE SEE WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!), the librul news media have been mocking them for this event and its "pack of losers," so if you don't show up to it Obama will be elected. Is that what you want?


Yesterday we told you about the exciting effort by three leading conservatives (Sheriff Joe Arpaio, "Joe The Plumber," and Republican Senate nominee Joe Miller) to raise $35,000 for The Campaign to Defeat Barack Obama.

As we were telling you about this, the news media was mocking us, calling these people a pack of losers, and predicting our efforts would fail. Please don't allow these liberal skeptics to be proven right.

Mocking them? Who could ever mock these individuals? Sheriff Joe Arpaio is inspiring for the sheer inanity and banality of his bigotry. You don't have to be anything special to make a career out of hating Mexicans! Joe the Plumber is inspiring for his perseverance, picking up from each small-market infomercial or conservative webcast he is fired from and moving on to the next one with the strength of an idiot who couldn't even get himself a real plumbing job in the first place. And Joe Miller is inspiring for being on Twitter, talking shit about Lisa Murkowski, as if he will ever have a shot to take that job he literally said he was measuring the drapes for. Yes, these "Joe's" are great minds, the leaders of tomorrow.

We hope they have good security, as this must be the biggest terrorist target in human history. America's only hope is gathering at a place Google says is called "TNT Archery," and if something were to happen, freedom itself, not just these men's rising careers, would die. [Our Country Deserves Better via Gawker]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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