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Well, look who is doing some journamalism, it is us, yr Wonkette. A delightful story about Bristol Palin's mean right hook, Todd Palin's bloody nose, and Sarah Palin screeching DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM was gossiported by our old pals at ImmoralMinority, and we done called up the Anchorage PD to say "yo, Palin fight?" and they said "maybe." ALL THE PULITZERS PLS.


Anita in the Anchorage Police Department's communications office is sitting at her desk at 7:15 a.m. on a Tuesday Thursday, so probs they are waiting for a whole mess of calls from Jake Tapper or whatever, and Anita confirms that a huge bloody mess of a brawl between multiple subjects took place Saturday night, and that the Palins were "present." However, since nobody wanted to arrest anybody else, the names of the "subjects" remain not yet released. But the investigation continues!

Infotain us, ImmoralMinority!

According to the grapevine Track had some altercation with a person who may or may not have once dated one of the Palin girls. That led to some pushing and shoving, which escalated somehow to the family being asked to leave the premises.

However before that could happen a certain former abstinence spokesperson unleashed a flurry of blows at some as of yet identified individual before being pulled off by by another partygoer, after which Todd apparently puffed up his chest and made some threatening remarks. (The "C' word may have been uttered at one point.)

Yes, the C-word probably was uttered. BY US.

Anyhoo, it is probably time for anyone who was at that super-fun-times awesome shindiggity to send us some cell phone video, because WHO THE HELL WASN'T TAKING CELL PHONE VIDEO, WHAT ARE YOU A BUNCH OF IDIOTS?

Kthxbai.

[ImmoralMinority]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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In 2014, Pastor Jamie Coots of the Full Gospel Tabernacle in Jesus' Name church in Middlesborough, Kentucky died from a rattlesnake bite. Was it a camping accident? Did something go terribly wrong at the zoo? No, he was handling those snakes on purpose, in order to demonstrate how super holy he was. Not holy enough, it seems,

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Once upon a time, Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers at least claimed to focus their efforts entirely on immigrants involved in criminal activity. Those days are long gone, and now they're going after anyone, including law-abiding people who are just trying to drive their pregnant wives to the hospital to give birth.

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