active measures bethlehem Betsy Devos charter schools chris christie Corey Lewandowski dan coats David Bosse dni elijah cummings employer healthcare evil losers face palm fake news farm subsidies federal workers fox news Fox News Ratings greg gianforte healthcare healthcare reform HealthCare Repeal house oversight committee israel Israeli ambassador Israeli Ambassador Face Palm james comey James Cordon Jasson Chaffetz jeff sessions jimmy kimmel john brennan legislative rules manchester McConnellCare meals on wheels medicaid middle east Middle East Peace mike flynn Mike Rodgers North Carolina bathroom nsa obamacare palestine paul ryan private schools public schools Putin rachel maddow robert mueller Ron Dremer face palm rt russia RyanCare sanctuary cities sean hannity Sean Hannity Ratings seth meyers Seth Rich snap social safety net social security stephen colbert student aid texas Texas Transgender bathroom Theresa May transgender bathroom trump budget trump russia TrumpCare Valdimir Putin Wealthcare white nationalist
And That's When Trump Became President (Just Kidding). Wonkagenda For Tues., May 23, 2017
It takes one to know one.
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
- Last night 22 people were killed, and almost 60 were injured in Manchester, U.K., in a suicide bombing at an Ariana Grande concert. According to reports, many of the victims were children and teenagers, and Prime Minister Theresa May spoke early this morning calling the attacks "cowardly" and "callous."
- In yet another series of pathetic missed opportunities to actually be a decent person, Trump spoke in Bethlehem and called the attacker an "evil loser." Twice.
- Trump opined that he thinks peace in the Middle East is, like, super-bigly close, you can't even believe it. So close. Very Peace. Wow.
- After Comey told Trump to eat a dick when Trump asked him to kibosh the FBI's Trump-Russia investigation, Trump and Congressional Republicans pressured both the DNI and NSA to publicly deny the existence of any evidence of collusion during the campaign.
- John Brennan will come to the Hill today to talk about "active measures" of disinformation by countries like Russia, which is just a fancy way of saying "fake news" or bullshit, as well as DNI and NSA chiefs, Dan Coats and Mike Rodgers. What a coincidence!
- MD Dem Rep. Elijah Cummings sent House Oversight Chair Jason Chaffetz a letter saying Michael Flynn lied to investigators during his 2016 security clearance renewal when Flynn said he was paid $45,000 by "U.S. Companies" for appearing at a gala hosted by the Russian state
propagandaTV channel, RT that sat him next to Putin.
- James Comey WAS going to testify before Congress today, but first he needs to have a little sit down with Robert Mueller. I wonder what those gossipy 'ol hens will gab about?
- Trump's budget comes out today, and it wants to make all the poor Trumpkins work harder to get their own reality TV shows after it strips away $1 trillion in social programs and benefits that includes farm subsidies and student aid, Medicaid, SNAP, Social Security Disability Insurance, and agriculture subsidies and caps domestic discretionary spending at $429 billion a year, while simultaneously inflating the defense budget to $722 billion.
- Paul Ryan understands your confusion about employer-sponsored health coverage under TrumpCare/RyanCare/McConnellCare/WealthCare, just know that you will not afford health insurance, but you will have access. It's really quite simple, dum dums.
- Congressional Republicans are sick of waiting, so the GOP is trying to break and rewrite legislative rules to ram through their agenda which includes corporate tax cuts, healthcare repeal, and torching the social safety net.
- In his desperate attempts to hog the public spotlight for another two minutes, Chris Christie says he wouldn't have let Mike Flynn into the White House.
- Israel's US ambassador literally face palmed when Trump made a comment that suggests he doesn't know that Israel is part of the Middle East. Seriously.
- Texas is trying is trying to ram through a transgender bathroom ban in public AND CHARTER schools, so a bunch of lady legislators decided to go pop a squat in the men's toilet in protest.
- Betsy DeVos says that states will have the option to become charter schools, while Trump's budget winks and nudges that federal funding will be more available to those states that decide to tell their public school systems to fuck off.
- Tucked deep inside Trump's budget is reductions in the salaries of "overly generous compensations" for federal workers who are rewarded for "tenure rather than performance."
- Montana's Republican Congressional candidate, Greg Gianforte, has been giving Ameros to white nationalist groups for YEARS and openly stands by the the trigger-happy wing of Tea Party crazies.
- Jeff Sessions is broadening the definition of "sanctuary cities" to include places that violate federal law requiring local and state governments to swap information with the feds about illegal immigrants, and wants to guide funding for Justice and DHS grants to strong arm immigration policies. Sessions also asked a California court to lift its ban on Trump's sanctuary city ban.
- Corey Lewandowski is looking to get in Trump's White House while everyone else is looking for the exit because Trump's "personally reached out" to him and ratfucking spin machine David Bossie.
- People are embarrassed to be around LOW RATINGS Sean Hannity because he won't cover Trump-Russia, and is making up conspiracy theories that don't involve Russian pee hookers.
- It's not just Hannity who's been struggling to keep his head above water, Fox News has been dead last for several weeks now
- And here's your late night wrap-up! James Cordon had an emotional and heart-felt message for Manchester residents; Stephen Colbert had some talky time with Rachel Maddow and also wonders if Trump's travel ban applies to Trump himself; Jimmy Kimmel wondered wtf was up with that weird orb, and Seth Meyers took A Closer Look at Trump's hypocritical warnings.
- And here's your morning Nice Time! An adorable lion cub!
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