AND YET SHE PERSISTED In Reading Mueller Report Right To Mitch McConnell's Dumb Face

Y'all hear about the shit Mitch McConnell pulled this morning? He stood up on the Senate floor to deliver one of his trademark lie-filled hypocritical bullshit speeches, this time about the end of the Mueller investigation, and boy did he deliver! His mantra was "case closed," because he assumes (correctly) most Americans haven't read the Mueller Report, and don't know he's lying (incorrectly!) when he says it exonerated Donald Trump. He angrily shouted at Democrats for "relitigating 2016," because he says that's what the investigation is really about for those who lost, so we wouldn't have to "come to terms with the American people's choice" in the presidential race. (You know, the one Donald Trump lost by three million popular votes -- that means "actual human votes" -- and barely won because of three states in the Rust Belt, the very same ones Trump campaign chair Paul Manafort passed secret internal polling on to a Russian spy repeatedly in the months before the election, with the general expectation it would end up in the hands of the guy known as "Putin's favorite oligarch.")

Mitch McConnell declares "case closed" on Mueller

For McConnell's biggest lies, he chose to blame Barack Obama for what happened in 2016 -- you know, back in the days when Obama was trying to warn the country that Russia was interfering to help Trump and hurt Hillary Clinton, a campaign the Mueller Report called "sweeping and systematic" -- and yank on Trump's horn in that way he likes, baselessly claiming that actually Trump is tougher on Russia than anybody. If you'll remember, when Obama came to Mitch McConnell in 2016 and asked for a moment of bipartisan patriotism, since we should all agree that no matter who you support, we don't want the fucking Russians choosing our president, McConnell responded by threatening that he would view it as an act of partisan hostility if Obama went public with the news.

Strangely, McConnell forgot about all his own actions during that time, choosing to chortle to himself about how DUMB OBAMA back in 2012 mocked Mitt Romney for saying Russia was the world's greatest current geopolitical threat. (And you know what? Romney was right about that, and we were wrong for laughing at him, but to be fair to us, it WAS Mitt Romney. This is also not the first time we have delineated that Barack Obama made some mistakes with his Russia policy.) McConnell's big punchline there was that maybe if Obama had been more like Reagan with Russia, instead of being like Jimmy Carter, then maybe none of this ever would have happened. (You know, the thing where Russia helped steal an election for a despised Republican president, the same president McConnell gave a public lickjob on the Senate floor this morning.)

McConnell claimed that Trump is tackling Russian interference "head on," which is very funny considering how we just learned that former DHS Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen couldn't even breathe the words "Russian interference" in the White House in an effort to protect the next election, due to how our chickenshit president still views any discussion of Russian meddling as an attack on the legitimacy of his election. (And he's right. His election probably was illegitimate.) This is the same Mitch McConnell who stuck his thumbs up the anal opening in his turtle shell recently while his Senate rubber-stamped sanctions relief for Oleg Deripaska, the aforementioned likely recipient of Paul Manafort's polling data on the Rust Belt states.

McConnell even said the Trump administration and Republicans in Congress have strengthened NATO. You know, in case you were wondering how deep McConnell was willing to go today with things that are EXTREMELY OBVIOUS LIES.

After McConnell shut his fucking yap, Chuck Schumer got up and corrected the record, reminding us how McConnell and his colleagues have spent the last several years actively aiding and abetting the Russian crimes against the United States.

We all remember what you did, Mitch McConnell.

But even better than what Schumer said in response to McConnell is what Senator Elizabeth Warren did, which was to spend 40 minutes on the Senate floor reading the Mueller Report into the record -- especially the good parts! -- and also reading aloud that awesome letter signed by approximately three million former prosecutors, which says that if Trump wasn't currently being protected by DoJ policy, he would have already been indicted for multiple felonies for obstruction of justice.

There's not much we have to add by way of commentary to what Warren did, because she was just reading stuff we've all read already. But it was really good for those out there who haven't read it all like a common Wonkette, those of you who quite frankly aren't paid to spend your time reading 448-page special counsel reports, but have to consume news in much shorter bursts. People need to see this on the news, especially on a day when we learned that the star and narrator of the Mueller Report, Don McGahn, who by any logic should be preparing his House Judiciary Committee testimony right this very second, is starting to throw roadblocks up to complying with congressional subpoenas.

Oh yeah, and Warren also reiterated her call to begin an impeachment inquiry into Trump:

Sen. Elizabeth Warren on Impeachment (C-SPAN)

Among many of the things Warren said, there was this:

"If any other human being in this country had done what's documented in the Mueller report, they would be arrested and put in jail. The majority leader doesn't want us to consider the mountain of evidence against the president. That is wrong," she said.

Just like all those prosecutors said!

We continue to believe that we should be walking a careful line, a sort of walk-and-chew-gum approach to this whole impeachment thing. We absolutely have to move down that road, and we agree with Hillary Clinton that it should be done slowly, diligently, and on live TV so often it inflicts excruciating pain on the president and his administration, just like the Watergate hearings.

The good news, as Paul Campos pointed out today at the indispensable Lawyers, Guns & Money, is that we really don't think there's much of an "argument" happening here among Democrats. It's not Dems on one side saying IMPEACH NOW, ASK QUESTIONS LATER! vs. Dems who don't want to do impeachment at all. The more "careful" ones know what road we're on, and the ones shouting "INPEACH!!11!!" from the rooftops know there is a process we need to follow here. Pretty sure we're all mostly on the same page.

Mueller gave us the road map, as he obviously intended to do in the first place, despite Bill Barr's best efforts to obstruct and lie and cover up for Donald Trump.

In summary and in conclusion, it is your OPEN THREAD, and also here is all 41 minutes of Elizabeth Warren being awesome, if that should perchance interest you:

Oh, and we almost forgot:

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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