Poor Andrew Giuliani Not Even Sure What Lie He's Supposed To Say About Hillary Clinton

We are not sure what poor young Andrew Giuliani thinks he is doing with his life these days. That whole "running for governor" thing didn't work out so well. Oh wait, he's still doing that? Awesome. Bless his heart.

So the New York Dems are having their convention right now. New York Governor Kathy Hochul, a Democrat, is running for a full term and Hillary Clinton introduced her this morning.

And Andrew Giuliani was outside in the street, apparently, jumping around like Chris Farley playing a baby Andrew Giuliani.



Right, like that.

And this is what the CUTEST LI'L GIULIANI said about Hillary Clinton outside the New York Dems' convention today, while the grownups were inside doing grownup stuff:

“She actually bugged my former boss President Donald Trump’s tower,” Giuliani said, without offering any evidence of the spurious claim. “The media, for three years, pushed this Russia collusion fake theory.”

Oh for heaven's sake, the poor boy doesn't even understand the Fox News lie about the Durham investigation he's supposed to be telling. Can somebody tell it to him again and maybe bring him a juice box so maybe he'll sit down and listen? Maria Bartiromo? Maria, can you tell Rudy's boy the lie? He's not getting it yet.

Hell, wasn't his daddy on Newsmax just this week saying he's got secret evidence of Hillary's spying back there in his bedroom? Somebody help Junior out here.

Also we love how he refers to "my former boss President Donald Trump's tower." It's such an awkward way to say literally all those words. Like "waaaaah, my former boss's tower!

Anyway, while he was out there just a-yellin' — he was out there with that bonkers mayoral race loser Curtis Sliwa — he was sayin' Kathy Hochul is going to release all the criminals if she gets a full term. You know how she and Hillary are:

“Kathy Hochul (and) Hillary Clinton: bad for America bad for New York,” he said. “Everybody sees the failed policies in New York. Crime has spiraled through the roof, not just in our city but in our whole state.”

Right, OK.

But hey, maybe we make fun of young Andrew to our own detriment, and maybe there's a groundswell of support among New Yorkers for the change he promises to br-

Giuliani took no questions from reporters and the men were backed up by just four supporters, including little-known state Young Republican Club leader Gavin Wax. One of the backers held up two placards, perhaps to give viewers the impression of a less-sparsely attended event.

Cool.

We checked the internet to find out if there was any more super-important information about Andrew Giuliani's chances in the New York GOP primary for governor, but all we found was "Andrew Giuliani hit in face with flower pot near Penn Station" from last month.

Also there are two fundraisers coming up for Lee Zeldin, the guy the New York GOP actually wants to win the nomination, at Mar-a-Lago, oh my goodness how embarrassing for the entire Giuliani family, fundraisers coming up for Zeldin at Mar-a-Lago.

Can you imagine if Trump actually endorsed Zeldin over boy wonder here? Oh boy that'd be fun.

Anyway, OPEN THREAD.

[New York Daily News]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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