Andrew Giuliani So Mad FBI Didn't Take hUnTeR bDiDen'S laPPtOp From His Dad

Crime

Andrew Giuliani — who is the son of Rudy Giuliani, which means half of his genetic makeup came from Rudy Giuliani's balls, which is why his face looks like that; and who is also under the impression he might be the next governor of New York, which is adorbs — has thoughts on the FBI raiding his dad yesterday.

They are ... they are his thoughts! He shared them with the press, which to its credit did not audibly start laughing, at least not that we could hear in the video.



LI'L GIULIANI, KNOWN WHIPPERSNAPPER: Any American, whether you are red or blue, should be extremely disturbed by what happened here today, by the continued politicization of the Justice Department.

Haha OK. Hate that "politicized Justice Department" that's been investigating your daddy ever since his BFF Donald Trump was president, and that only didn't deliver this warrant last summer, apparently, because your dad's BFF's low-rent Roy Cohn wouldn't allow it.

LI'L GIULIANI, WHAT A LI'L STINKER: If this can happen to the former president's lawyer, this can happen to any American. Enough is enough.

The only piece of evidence that they did not take up there today was the only piece of incriminating evidence that is in there, and it does not belong to my father, it belongs to the current president's son.

Wait, why does your dad have Hunter Biden's shit in his apartment? Did your dad ROB HUNTER BIDEN?

Just kidding, we know what the young boy is talking about. He believes, or he wants us to believe, that his daddy has hUnTeR bDiDen'S laPPtOp, which is totally real and was not at all fed to him by the Russian intelligence services, in his house, and he is just very mad the FBI didn't take that.

As if the FBI agents who carried out the warrant were like "Is that Hunter Biden's laptop? We'll leave that particular electronic device right where it is!"

Sure, sport.

There is only one appropriate response to this, and it is:

Want to laugh some more? OK.

Oh my god.

And yes, it's real.

This has been a Wonkette post.

[h/t Joe.My.God]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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