African Studies Professor and legendary Black Liberationist, Ann Coulter, is getting a bit frustrated with White Liberals ignoring history.

Most holidays, Coulter sits alone in her dusty lair, waiting for a lost child to stumble upon her web so she can suck the joy from its soul. But not this year. This year she was far too busy shutting down the Government to drain any children. Ann didn't even find time to bitch and moan about the quiet desperation she feels from imagining the joyless, lonely, soul crushing years of life she has left stretching out endlessly before her until her ignoble end. Her struggle this year was the idea of all of those joyful blah people merrily frolicking beneath their Kwanzaa tree that gave rise to her violent misery. "Don't those sheep know anything?", she probably thinks to herself. "The black sheep are being fooled by those Liberal white sheep!!", she likely yells this outloud, but nobody would hear it. Ann's only friend is the misery she exudes from every pore. Nevertheless, she will teach those Liberal Blacks about the FRAUD of Kwanzaa on this VERY DAY. Because ROAR!

Unfortunately for America, Ann HATES being the only miserable one. And why should she be miserable, sad, and forgotten, when she can fire up her laptop to spread that shitty misery among people who don't deserve it? Everyone knows Ann is an extremely strange and annoying person. Nobody but Bill Maher has ever liked her. (FACTS!) Things that bother literally nobody else drive her batshit crazy.

Batshit Ann is also bored as fuck. So, of course she would "mock" liberals into feeding her need for attention by giving them a lesson on the history of violent black extremism, or as White Liberals call it, "Kwanzaa." From the union of Ann's misery and menacing boredom, we present An Article She Wrote.

Ann Coulter: FBI Created Kwanzaa And United Slaves To Kill Black Panthers At The COINTELPRO and White Genocide Festival.

(This should have been her headline.)

Daily Caller (Don't click this link):

The day after Christmas, President Trump issued his official Kwanzaa greetings from the White House:

This annual celebration of African heritage, unity and culture is a special opportunity for many to reflect on their shared ancestry and values. At this time, our nation joins in honoring the important contributions of African-Americans to the strength and success of the United States.

We have to assume this was Jared's idea.

You can clearly see the problem, right? Jared+Blah People+Greeting+Celebration= "Nicey Nicey Poo Poo" and that's NOT OKAY. Jared is the worst, nobody likes him at all, anywhere. I understand the impulse to light any and every idea that comes from Jared on fire and shoot it into space. But, we doubt he is the culprit. See, Daddy Trump gave him a vacay recently so he's laying low until it's grift time. Again. This was obviously written by Tiffany Trump or Barron; Jared would ask for 5 billion dollars.

Kwanzaa, celebrated exclusively by white liberals, is a fake holiday invented in 1966 by black radical/FBI stooge Ron Karenga —AKA Dr. Maulana Karenga, founder of United Slaves, the violent nationalist rival to the Black Panthers. Liberals have become so mesmerized by multicultural gibberish that they have forgotten the real history of Kwanzaa and Karenga's United Slaves.

OH MY GOD A BLACK MAN INVENTED A HOLIDAY!!! FAAAAAAKE NEEEEWS!!! LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP!

I wonder where the fuck she's been every Columbus Day, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, 4th of July, Flag Day, Arbor Day-- you get my drift. All holidays are fake, honey. We, humans, invent holidays. Because if we didn't, we'd be just as depressing and imprisoned by our solitude and LACK OF JOY as you are, Ann. Fuck that, quite frankly.

Those were the precepts of Karenga's United Slaves. The United Slaves were proto-fascists, walking around in dashikis, gunning down Black Panthers and adopting invented "African" names. (I will not be shooting any Black Panthers this week because I am Kwanzaa-reform, and we are not that observant.)

Why did I just have a visual of dashiki wearing Rachel Dolezal carrying an AR-15, with a black baby strapped to her back? Must be the caffeine. Better switch to booze. Ok, this is better. THIS MUST BE THAT DRUNK HISTORY SHOW!

Kwanzaa praises collectivism in every possible area of life. It takes a village to raise a police snitch. When Karenga was asked to distinguish Kawaida, the philosophy underlying Kwanzaa, from "classical Marxism," he essentially said that, under Kawaida, we also hate whites.

I'm sure you noticed that Ann loves discussing fake Black history so much it actually does give her a feeling similar to what we humans call "joy." This is the reason her alien length arms flail around violently as she whines her hot takes about Black people to whichever Nazi is listening.

Only white liberals take Kwanzaa seriously. Black Americans celebrate Christmas.
Merry Christmas, fellow Christians!

Sadly, only one Liberal black sheep read this BRILLIANT (not) article. Me. Most black people don't read Tucker Carlson's bullshit rag. I was nominated, and am treated quite well for performing this service. I'll never have the time, energy, or interest in actually bothering to engage seriously with anything that crazy lady writes. I'll just check back regularly to see if she's made a friend, or has had a nice time with a human person every so often. Take care, and don't be like Ann. Love something.

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