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How many times must judges hand Donald Trump his ass before he realizes he'll always be a loser who loses, and at last does what the fuck they say? The answer is ALL THE TIMES.

Manhattan district court judge Victor Marrero has ruled that Trump's latest whining about Manhattan DA Cyrus Vance's subpoenas to Trump's accounting firm Mazars Inc. is bullshit. This, after the Supreme Court recently ruled that Trump's lawyers were full of shit when they argued Trump had "absolute immunity" from being subpoenaed or even being investigated by a state-level prosecutor. Oh yes they can do that, said SCOTUS. But also, said SCOTUS, Trump's lawyers were welcome to go back to court and try the same arguments the rest of us little people have to use if we think a subpoena is unfair.

And they did. Trump's lawyers whined next that Vance's subpoena for Trump's financials and tax returns was "overbroad" and in "bad faith" and "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" (They may not have said the third thing out loud.) DA Vance asked the court to please dispose of that shit forthwith, just casually suggesting that MAYBE his investigation has tentacles in a hell of a lot more than Donald Trump's dirty naughty porny porn payoffs, just MAYBE.

In response, Marrero did dispose of that shit forthwith. In a 103-page ruling, Marrero said LOL fuck you, and dismissed Trump's lawyers' garbage WITH PREJUDICE.


Marrero seemed not overly amused by the fact that Trump's lawyers tried to bring him some "absolute immunity" bullshit by another name:

To bolster these arguments, the President, quoting Supreme Court guidance, stresses a point central to his legal theory: the uniqueness of the executive branch and special position the President occupies in the nation's constitutional structure. Fundamentally, he declares that the President is constitutionally different from the other branches of the government, and thus entitled to corresponding special treatment in the application of judicial process. [...] In the prior proceedings, the President raised substantially the same or similar arguments, which the Court rejected.

In other words, nice try, dipshits, but the judge can see that you just rearranged the words into some Pig-Latin or something, anyway, get out of my face. Or as Marrero wrote, in much more judgy language, "Justice requires an end to this controversy."

Of course, Trump's lawyers have filed an emergency appeal and asked the Second Circuit to stay Marrero's ruling. Of course. Because again, how many times do judges have to smack them upside the ass? ALL THE TIMES. Even though they have no legal arguments that do not make judges LOL, they are paid to make sure Trump's financials and tax returns, which very well may contain evidence of SO MANY CRIMES, stay hidden forever.

So let's drag this shit out some more! Trump said today that he'll "probably" end up taking this all the way to the Supreme Court, so it can smack him upside the ass again. Of course by then he may not even be president anymore so WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT?

Trump added:

"This is a continuation of the witch hunt, the greatest witch hunt in history," he said. "There's never been anything like it."

Fuck off. Of course, this also happened the same day Trump's sometimes main squeeze Steve Bannon became the third Trump 2016 campaign chair in history (of three) to be charged with a crime, indeed he was ARRESTED by the POST OFFICE, so we can understand why President Crime Boss might be down in the dumps.

Regardless, this is another loss for President Loses-So-Much, and one of these days we are going to see those fucking tax returns. Or at least Cy Vance's grand jury will. Once Trump is done dragging this shit out forever.

You betcha.

[ruling / Politico]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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