Anti-Maskers Are Crocheting Useless Spite Masks To Own The Libs
One thing you may not know about me is that I love crocheting. Like, I crocheted multiple granny squares last night for no purpose (will maybe make them into an afghan at some point, who knows) just because I was stressed out. I've also made multiple masks, all of which are very glamorous and net me many compliments at Wegman's. I have not, however, crocheted any masks, on account of how that would be stupid. (Unless it was to go over a fabric mask, but that seems hot for the summer)
But guess who is doing that? Anti-maskers who want to spite us! Or who want to prove that the push to wear a mask is all about "compliance" and not preventing a virus.
One Etsy listing for a pattern for a crocheted "anti-mask" mask (pictured above) says:
Make your own Anti Mask! Stylish, breathable and don't protect you from a darn thing! Masks required? No problem! Breath free while making a statement.
#mybodymychoice #resist #lingerie2020 #donotconsent
Can't wait until all of these anti-maskers start supporting reproductive rights, now that they're all "my body my choice" about things.
The hilarious thing about this is that the pattern is, according to buyers, super difficult (it doesn't look difficult but sometimes you can't tell, I guess?):
The pattern is very difficult to follow. The seller and buyers would benefit from someone more experienced at writing patterns. Unless the purpose of the difficult/to-follow pattern is to get people to spend more on the finished product. Luckily I am very experienced with crocheting and was able to figure it out eventually. If you're new to crochet, I would recommend buying the finished product, not the pattern. It does make a beautiful anti-mask.[...]
Its a great pattern but after a few tries, I ordered the completed item from the seller lol ! Im glad I have it though as I am experimenting with different threads. Its a great design.[...]
Excellent work! I bought the pattern first and attempted to make the mask myself. Needless to say, I am SO glad I opted to have the seller make it for me! Its quality work and I am very pleased. It makes my version look very sad lol [...]
Even if it were not a crappy pattern, I think it would probably take about two hours to make if you hadn't made it before. Imagine taking two hours out of your life to spite crochet a face mask that doesn't work!
So naturally a bunch of people just bought the premade versions — which even come with a custom vinyl message reading "This Mask Is Useless." Nice!
The reviews for those are a real prize as well, and will make you want to pull the covers over your head and scream I HATE EVERYONE into your pillow.
"Love, Love, LOVE my handmade "anti-mask". Being forced to wear a mask for 8+ hours a day required some ingenuity, and you solved this problem for me in style! I bought some crochet flowers to add, now I'm breathing with some lil' sweet embellishments."
Does it get worse? It does get worse. Please, no one let this woman into a medical facility of any kind with a crocheted spite mask.
Beautiful! I ordered for my husband and myself. I am pregnant and these masks make it so I can go to my ultrasound appointment and still breath. Thanks!
There's also a lace "anti-mask" being sold on Etsy, if you're going for that "incredibly stupid but maybe also sexy?" lewk.
The description for that one reads:
Despite science telling us that covid particle size is smaller than even an N95 mask would block we are still being forced to wear them. This is not about effectiveness it is about compliance. Rock this anti-mask mask so you can still breathe, appease the sheep and get your groceries at the same time.
These aren't the only people doing this. One man filmed a video of himself going into a Florida Walmart wearing a mesh mask meant for paintball that doesn't actually do anything, to prove the mask wearing is all about "compliance."
Man wears a mesh face mask to prove mandatory masks in Florida is not about protection youtu.be
"I visited a local Walmart in a county that put an ordinance in place that mandates masks," the filmer, Russ Ward, said.
"I wore a mask that is designed for protecting your face in a paintball battle. You can easily breathe through it. I walked all around the store, talked to employees, and other shoppers, and every one of them could see my mouth."
"It was almost like not wearing a mask at all. Nobody cared. That's because it's not about safety. It's all about compliance."
Sure, either that or people think you are possibly dangerous and don't want to get into it with you.
The sad thing here is that if this were really about "compliance" and testing to see if we could get right-wingers to comply with something like this, those in charge of this test would not go the "empathy" route. They would not say "the mask is about protecting other people," because everyone knows they don't care about other people.
Right-wingers would be out there wearing masks in a second if they were told it was about protecting themselves (especially if they were told that they shouldn't buy them up because other people need them) and if they were never told that people of color were more likely to die from COVID-19, if they thought it was a sign of patriotism and if they were told that wearing masks would totally own the libs because we don't think they're good enough to wear masks.
I mean, we're talking about the people who happily went along with "freedom fries" and who would happily shit their own pants if it meant we were "owned.
It would not be hard, if that were our goal. Too bad it actually is about health.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse