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Shut the front door, y'all! Donald Trump's legal team finally did something RIGHT! According to CNN, the president's real lawyers negotiated with Robert Mueller to provide written answers to a limited list of questions. So Donald Trump won't be forced to commit all the perjuries because he is constitutionally incapable of NOT LYING while making words with his mouth. (Which is not a perjury trap, goddammit!)

The questions are focused on matters related to the investigation of possible collusion between Trump associates and Russians seeking to meddle in the 2016 election, the sources said. Trump's lawyers are preparing written responses, in part relying on documents previously provided to the special counsel, the sources said.

"We are in continuing discussions with the special counsel and we do not comment on those discussions," said Trump attorney Jay Sekulow.

He said, with one hand clamped firmly over Rudy Giuliani's mouth. Probably.


Mueller's questions will be confined to the issue of NO COLLUSION, NO COLLUSION. Whether Trump intended to obstruct justice by firing Comey, attempting to fire Sessions, trying to get Sessions not to recuse, tweeting intimidation at Sessions, trying to fire Mueller, interfering with the congressional investigation, etcetera ad nauseum ... well, that's a battle for another day. Which is mighty convenient, since those issues will get punted until after the midterms. Do you think Trump might be holding off on murdering the Special Counsel investigation until after the election? Is he perhaps waiting to see if Republicans hold on to the Senate, so he can get a new attorney general approved to take over the Russia inquiry and stop Mueller from asking all those pesky obstruction questions? Safe bet!

So why would Mueller agree to this deal? WHO THE HELL KNOWS? Maybe he intends to wage the subpoena fight over an in-person obstruction interview once he has the written collusion answers in his pocket. Maybe he decided obstruction of justice is outside his purview. Maybe he thinks Trump is pure as the driven snow. Maybe he already has enough information from Paul Manafort and Rick Gates and Michael Flynn and Michael Cohen and the fifty other people he got before the grand jury to nail Trump to the wall. Or maybe it's none of those! But one thing's for damn sure -- unless your name is Andrew Weissman, you have no idea why Mueller does anything. Because that operation DOES NOT LEAK.

Speaking of which, there's yet another possibility we have to acknowledge. It might well be that this story is just more word vomit from Rudy Giuliani, who's been oddly quiet of late. So either he actually stopped talking (lololol), or his blabbermouth is on background right now.

But let's assume this story is accurate. What might be the advantage of getting Trump on the record about all the NO COLLUSION that went on during the campaign? Former prosecutor Renato Mariotti suggests that written responses commit Trump to a version of events that can't be altered later. Like say if Don Jr. suddenly remembers some more conversations he had with Wikileaks or his Russian friends. Or if Hope Hicks doesn't get that raise she asks for at her sweet new Fox gig, and she starts feeling chatty about her old pals at the campaign.

Sounds reasonable. Particularly if you take as the premise that Donald Trump was never not ever going to answer any questions under oath, which we do. Because, as his own attorney pointed out, the guy is a "fucking liar." So even if Mueller fought all the way to the Supreme Court and won the right to subpoena him, Trump would take the political hit and plead the Fifth before agreeing to an interview. So, maybe this was the best Mueller was ever going to get?

But, don't take our word for it. Because, like we said, NO ONE KNOWS.

[CNN]

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Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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We know a few things about Donald Trump for 100% certain.

One is that his brain is broken. There are a million examples, but here's one, from this afternoon:

MICHAEL. FLYNN. PLEADED. GUILTY. TO. LYING. TO. THE. FBI!

A judge is not "looking into that situation," you fucking moron!

OK let us not get distracted, as that is not the point of this post.

Another thing we know about Donald Trump is that he sniffs A LOT. During all the debates, he sniffed. During lots of his Hitler rally speeches, he sniffs. When he's on foreign soil, he sniffs. When he's hunkered athwart his golden toilet Makin' Twitters, we assume he sniffs.

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My idiot brother used to get that face during rants

Kentucky's Extra-Crispy wingnut governor Matt Bevin sure knows how to pick a fight. A few years back, during his failed bid to primary Mitch "Top Turtle" McConnell, Bevin explained how "chicken boxing" was a benign pastime that even the founding fathers enjoyed, and also a great big states' rights issue. Once in office, he was, predictably, a reliable supporter of stupid ideas, like spending a lot of money to ramp up a "work requirements" bureaucracy to make sure fewer people received Medicaid, thus spending more but claiming he'd "saved" money. He also claimed this year that striking teachers probably caused an invisible wave of child rape and death, because kids weren't in school. No, of course there wasn't any such result, but hey, it's OK, Bevin eventually not-pologized.

Bevin's other specialty is trying to drum up a good culture-war panic, like that time in 2016 when he predicted there'd be bloodshed if Hillary Clinton were elected, because sane governors predict civil war all the time. That desire to warn of impending calamity seems to be behind Bevin's latest idiocy, a Twitter rant yesterday in response to national investigative nonprofit ProPublica's decision to partner with the Louisville Courier-Journal for coverage of state government. So it only makes sense Bevin would lose his shit over the fact that one of the many sources of funding for ProPublica is George Soros's Open Society Foundation. How dare those monsters bring their radical leftist "reporting" to the Commonwealth of Kentucky!

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