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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Rides Around In Her Aunt's Chrysler Like A Big Car-Ridin' JERK!

Culture Wars

Conservatives like to attack Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez as a charlatan who claims to have high-minded ideals but is secretly just as loathsome and corrupt as they are. It's quite the self-own, but capitalism itself is at stake so it's worth it. Morons at CPAC last weekend suggested that Ocasio-Cortez wants to ban hamburgers and force everyone to ride around in foot-propelled Flintstones cars. Yet the congresswoman allows her aides to eat burgers in her presence without going full Klobuchar. Worse, she was also spotted recently inside a gas-powered horseless carriage.

Sunday, the New York Post "exposed [Ocasio-Cortez's] penchant for riding in gas-guzzling, private vehicles." Ocasio-Cortez attended a St. Patrick's Day parade in Queens and left the scene of this crime in a minivan. She was not styling and profiling in a tricked-out Hummer limo from a '90s rap video. Her "chauffeured ride" was a white Chrysler Town & Country. They don't make these anymore, but the 2016 model reportedly gets only 17 miles per to the gallon. Just how many forests did Ocasio-Cortez personally kill with her hypocrisy?


The Post's "gotcha" apparently is that Ocasio-Cortez was just a five-minute walk from a likely 50-minute wait for the 7 train. Why does she act as if her time is valuable? Ocasio-Cortez responded to this BS in her typical clever way. She basically laughed in the Post's face and suggested that this year's Pulitzer was already decided. Who could compete with high-octane journalism?

"Tía" is Spanish for "aunt," so, the Post "exposed" Ocasio-Cortez as someone who takes rides in her aunt's old car. That should've ended all this silliness but no, some folks on Twitter were ride or die for "tía-gate." They claim Ocasio-Cortez should "set an example," which presumably means never using automobiles even when economically and practically efficient. The Green New Deal, by the way, says nothing about banning cars because that would be stupid. Conservatives might prefer to attack an imaginary, stupid Green New Deal, but that's their business. We're all busy over here in reality.

The Post also repeatedly criticized Ocasio-Cortez for using Ubers, taxis, and for-hire vehicles. However, Ocasio-Cortez openly admits to existing in the 21st Century and has confessed to flying in planes and using air conditioning.

AOC: "Living in the world as it is isn't an argument against working towards a better future. The Green New Deal is about putting a LOT of people to work in developing new technologies, building new infrastructure, and getting us to 100% renewable energy."

Conservatives keep coming for Ocasio-Cortez and she keeps slaying them in under 280 characters. Last week, she joined Rep. Rashida Tlaib in denouncing Rep. Mark Meadows's shameless use of a black woman as a congressional lawn ornament. Just because Donald Trump has deigned to hire black people doesn't mean he's not a racist. Fox's Charles V. Payne tried to flip the script on Oscaio-Cortez and expose her as the true racist who, unlike Soul Brother Trump, probably hasn't even hired a black.

We don't know why Payne would think Ocasio-Cortez's staff was secretly whiter than a Trump rally. Of course, she has a diverse team. What did he hope to achieve here? Did he just want to get publicly spanked like whenever Dinesh D'Souza says something stupid within range of Kevin Kruse?

The Post claims that Ocasio-Cortez is "addicted to Uber," but conservative media is addicted to bringing down Ocasio-Cortez. It will never stop being tiresome.

[NYPost / CNN / Twitter]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Seattle. However, he's more reliable for food and drink recommendations in Portland, where he spends a lot of time for theatre work. His co-adaptation of "Jitterbug Perfume" by Tom Robbins is playing NOW at Pioneer Square's Cafe Nordo. All Wonketters welcome.

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You guys, hi, hello, it is almost the holiday weekend, so we are going to share you a real video posted last night by "Doctor" Sebastian "Don't Call Me A Nazi" Gorka, that hilarious old knucklecuck. We guess now that he had to give up (or gave up voluntarily!) his Fox News contract, he just makes videos for the Twitter. Hoo ... ray?

Anyway, Gorka is super-excited that Donald Trump issued that order last night, giving Bill Barr all kinds of new powers to expose the Deep State for what it is and PROVE once and for all that the gremlins who live inside Trump's diarrhea are correct when they say Hillary ordered the Deep State to do an illegal witch hunt to Trump, yadda yadda yadda, you've seen these people huff paint before, we don't have to type it all.

Here is the video, after which Wonkette will either transcribe it OR we will provide our own dramatic interpretation. Which one will it be? We don't know! Would you be able to tell the difference between the two? We don't know!

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We want to say right here at the outset that we hate Julian Assange. Aside from the sexual assault allegations against him, and aside from the fact that he's just a generally stinky and loathsome person who reportedly smeared poop on the walls at the Ecuadorian embassy in London, while reportedly not taking care of his cat, an innocent creature, he acted as Russia's handmaiden during the 2016 election, in order to further Russia's campaign to steal it for Donald Trump. All signs point to his campaign being a success!

So we are justifiably happy when bad things happen to Julian Assange. We are happy his name is shit the world over, and that any reputation WikiLeaks used to have for being on the side of freedom and transparency has been stuffed down the toilet where it belongs. We are happy he looked like such a sad-ass loser when the Ecuadorian embassy finally kicked him out and he was arrested.

And quite frankly, we were OK with the initial charge against him recently unsealed in the Eastern District of Virginia. If you'll remember, he was charged with trying to help Chelsea Manning hack a password into the Defense Department, which is not what journalists do. Journalists do not drive the get-away car for sources. Journalists do not hold their sources' hair back while they're stealing classified intel. Assange is essentially accused of doing all that.

Now, put all that aside. Because -- and this is key -- journalists do publish secrets they are provided by sources. That's First Amendment, chapter and verse, American as fucking apple pie and fast-food-induced diabetes. And that is what much of the superseding indictment of Assange unsealed yesterday was about. (And nope, it wasn't about anything regarding Assange's ratfucking the 2016 election or Hillary's emails. Why would the Trump Justice Department prosecute anything about that? It's all about the older Chelsea Manning stuff, the stuff the Obama Justice Department considered charging Assange with, but ultimately declined, because of that little thing called the First Amendment.)

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