AP McCain Feature Just Chock Full of Awful Metaphors About Accordion Players


It's theNew Associated Press! Less boring facts and whatever, and more shitty, shitty writing like you might find on a Live Journal, for the Retarded. Let's enjoy some of the dozens of terrible metaphors in today's AP feature on how John McCain is a shameful old fraud who should be locked in a bag of snakes and dropped down an oil well -- no, wait! John McCain is actually like, uh, a person who plays the accordion. Because he's super old, right?! Uhhh ....

  • "John McCain embraces and expels Washington like an accordion player belting out a song."
  • "Squeeze in, and he's the new capital tour guide for his running mate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin."
  • "Draw out, and he's never set foot in the city himself."
  • "Squeeze in, and he's got the Washington skill set needed to right the country's Wall Street woes."
  • "Draw out, and he distances himself from the administration of the Republican president who has endorsed him."
  • "There are even times when McCain does both — squeeze in and draw out — in the same thought."
  • "It sounds the note he hopes voters will hear on Election Day, that of the experienced newcomer."

Next week on the AP Wire: John McCain is like an old guy who bowls down at the bowling alley, or something, but newfangled video games distract his attention, or something.

McCain has 2 faces: Washington in- and outsider [AP]


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