Oh, frabjous day! The Arizona Gippers are kicking the shit out of each other after Martha McSally lost a second Senate seat in two years and the state's 11 electoral votes went to Joe Biden. Turns out putting Chemtrail Kelli Ward in charge of the state party was every bit the rousing success literally everyone predicted. No need for a "Let Them Fight" gif — Ol' Crazy Eyes is always ready to throw down.

On January 23, Maricopa County Republicans will meet to debate a resolution to censure Governor Doug Ducey, former Senator Jeff Flake, and the widow of Arizona's favorite son John McCain. Why, yes, all those people are Republicans. Why do you ask? Presumably these proud patriots will follow up the vote with the famous Dick Kickin' Foot Shoot Shuffle. Sing it with us now, "It ain't over 'til we're all limpin' and pissin' blood together, 'cause that's what makes American greeeeeat agin'!"


Ducey provoked the ire of his fellow Republicans with public health measures to prevent the rampant spread of coronavirus. Or as the Maricopa GOP describes it, "purporting to the office of Governor dictatorial powers" in a sinister plot to "empower himself to restrict personal liberties and force compliance to unconstitutional edicts." He must "immediately rescind all Executive Orders and directives issued under this faux State of Emergency." You bet!

Jeff Flake, who's been out of the Senate for two years now, has "joined with those who condemn President Trump, condemned his behavior and America First policies, all the while neglecting President Trump's many accomplishments." Praise the Dear Leader HARDER! These Real Murikans demand that "the Republican Party of Arizona agrees to dissolve any connections whatsoever to Jeff Flake and suggests he join the Democrat party."

As for Cindy McCain, her sins are multitudinous. She supported "leftist causes such as gay marriage, growth of the administrative state" and "globalist policies and candidates, including Democrat Joe Biden" which is "in direct opposition to Republican values, the interests of the American people, and the Constitution of the United States." Plus she had the nerve to get mad when the president attacked her dead husband over and over and over, and she "condemned President Trump for his criticism of her husband and erroneously placed behaviors over actual presidential results." The very nerve!

"As Chairman of the AZGOP she managed to turn Arizona blue in November for the first time since 1996," McCain told AZ Central, of Kelli Ward. "Maybe she should be reminded that my husband never lost an Arizona election since his first win in 1982; he and Governor Ducey are the last two Republicans to win statewide races in Arizona."

Meanwhile, the national party can only look on in horror as their own state counterparts score own goal after own goal in a once-reliable Sunbelt state.

"Obviously we are upset that a prominent Republican would support Joe Biden whose beliefs are the opposite of what our party stands for, but the language in this resolution is abhorrent," RNC Chair Ronna Romney McDaniel told the Washington Post Sunday. "My hope is that the Arizona Republican Party will not entertain it. This does nothing to grow our party or put us in a better position to win in 2022."

What say you, Arizona Gippers? Can't we all talk this out like adults?

Ah, well then. God bless.

OPEN THREAD.

[AZ Central / WaPo]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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