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Rest easy, innocent children of Gilbert, Arizona: You won't have to worry about being corrupted by your biology textbooks anymore! The Gilbert School Board voted Tuesday to remove a page from the high school's honors biology textbook, because they were worried it might be in violation of an Arizona law requiring that all instructional materials promote "childbirth or adoption" instead of abortion.


You see, the page in question has one whole sentence that mentions the abortion pill, and even worse, it discusses emergency contraception, which is exactly like an abortion except for how it isn't an abortion at all, except lots of wingnuts have a sincerely held belief that it is. Clear enough? Gotta teach science right.

An Arizona law passed in 2012 is quite clear on why the X-Acto Knives must be taken to the textbook:

In view of the state's strong interest in promoting childbirth and adoption over elective abortion, no school district or charter school in this state may allow any presentation during instructional time or furnish any materials to pupils as part of any instruction that does not give preference, encouragement and support to childbirth and adoption as preferred options to elective abortion.

And by golly, a Concerned Parent called up a board member to complain about the textbook, Campbell Biology: Concepts & Connections because page 547 is just loaded with slut pills. Oh, sure the page starts with a note that "Complete abstinence (avoiding intercourse) is the only totally effective method of birth control," but just look at the outrageous pro-abortion propaganda in the final paragraph of the section:

Now, even though the Arizona Department of Education and the school's lawyer said in September that the passage wasn't in violation of the law -- it says that Mifepristone exists, but it doesn't recommend it or say "go kill your babby and become a witch" -- the school voted 3-2 to remove the entire page. But it is definitely not censorship, says board member Julie Smith:

"By redacting, we are not censoring," she said. "This school district does offer sexual education classes. If we were censoring we would not offer anything on this topic whatsoever."

See? It's not censorship if you remove something, as long as you replace it with something else. That is just Logic.

Even better, board President Stacy Bunk said that several parents had already volunteered to help remove or redact the offending pages, which is certainly a happy thought. Can't you just see the decent church-going parents with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces, taking up Sharpies or razors to fix those terrible, terrible books that don't tell children about their sacred duty to give birth?

[Arizona Republic / AzCentral.com]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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On Monday, someone attempted to murder George Soros by putting a bomb in his mailbox. Also on Monday, someone threw a rock into House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy's office. Also, I spilled some hot coffee on myself. These are all things that happened on Monday, and were by some measure unpleasant. While most people might say, "Yes, all of those things are unpleasant, but they are not equal degrees of unpleasant," most people are not Chuck Schumer.

In what appears to be an attempt to get someone on Fox News to describe him as a "reasonable guy," Schumer sent out a tweet today lamenting the "despicable acts of violence and harassment" being done by "both sides."

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Republicans are KILLIN' IT in Florida, you guys! No worries about election day, Gators. It's all smooooooth sailing for the Sunshine State GOP. Just take it from Governor Rick Scott's lead pollster Wes Anderson, who produced a whimsical, unskewed poll for the campaign, featuring nostalgic jams about high Republican turnout in those good old days, telling the Tampa Bay Times,

As the linked slides indicate, Governor Scott currently leads Senator Nelson 51% to 46%, a lead that is outside of the margin of error.

It should also be noted that this sample from last week is very robust at 2,200 interviews of likely voters, stratified by county to reflect historic mid-term turnout. Our sample shows the Republicans with a one-point turnout advantage, even though we believe we will end up with a two- or three-point advantage. For historical context, in the past two mid-term elections Republicans had a four-point advantage in 2010 and a three-point advantage in 2014. At R+1, that makes our current sample a very conservative take on the likely partisan composition of this year's electorate.

NEEDZ MOAR BILL MURRAY.

No other pollster has replicated those numbers, with SurveyUSA, Quinnipiac, and CNN/SSRS all finding Bill Nelson in the lead, but if OnMessage, Inc. says Scott is running way ahead, then it must be true! Only OnMessage promises to "take your principles, your experience, and your opponent's weaknesses to develop a winning message plan that the voters will embrace." And who wouldn't trust a push pollster, right?

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