Army Dad Snaps Pic Of Woman's Cart, It Goes Viral! Tabs, Wed., March 31, 2021
Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

Goodbye, G. Gordon Liddy, you were a Nixon Watergate piece of shit henchman crook, you were 90, and now you are dead. (Washington Post)

There's about to be a RUSH of stories on Matt Gaetz, who says he is being THE BLACKMAILED!!!! (Axios) But the New York Times says it is about a girl, and an investigation begun under Billy Barr. And Gaetz is all over Twitter and is just making me tired. Liz will be along to splain it eventually because I just assigned her to a date with SEAN HANNITY whoo hooooooo! (Is she happy about it? LOL.)

Gonna go lie down on the kitchen floor, be back never. Firefighter says police wouldn't let her check on Floyd, so she called 911 and watched them 'not do anything to save a man'. — CNN


Eric Boehlert is all like "hey you know the press corps that keeps demanding proper credit for Trump's coronavirus response, well let's proper credit MY BALLS." Probably a direct quote! — PressRun

What's up with Michigan's coronavirus surge, and why am I not going to Detroit for my little brother's graduation in a month even though we're all vaxxed? (Hint: Because they've asked us not to nonessentially travel, and we are very good boys and girls, and also HELLO MICHIGAN IT IS YOUR TIME IN THE BARREL.) (Also, Gretchen Whitmer seems to be over the hardass restrictions, if Gavin Newsom's getting recalled for them.) (Those aren't in the story.) (I am just noting.) (Bridge)

Fourth surge is here, but we can stop it this time, which somehow reminds me of Happy Christmas (War Is Over) and I just found out Celine Dion did a version and it is not my favorite! Anyway, Zeynep at The Atlantic.

I keep wanting to do Bill Pullman's Independence Day speech from Independence Day, but all I can come up with is "It's their time, it's their time, up there! It's our time, it's our time, down here," from Goonies. So there you go, Independence Day, independent from aliens and treasure-robbers and also COVID-19. — Vox

UNPOPULAR OPINION! If Joe Biden's dog is bitey, that is a dog that shouldn't be around people who have to do their jobs there. (Also, not all dog-bitingness is the human's fault, please be real, some dogs are lunatics and/or jerks.) (CNN)

Oh my goodness.

Oh Gwyneth NO! (Bitch Media)

A splainer about important TikTok ... things. — Vox

76 all-cash offers on one house, if you couldn't read the paywalled Business Insider story from the other day about DON'T BUY A HOUSE RIGHT NOW. (CNN)

The Christian seder: Relax. Don't do it. (Yahoo)

If you made a leg of lamb for Passover, and you have leg of lamb from Passover leftover, you can make a lamb stew! Except that "Christian lifestyle coach," she can get fucked. (Delish)

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

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