June 07, 2005 04:12 PM
Ask Wonkette: Kerry's Gentleman D's
Readers want to know what we think of today's shocking revelation that John Kerry was not actually a smarty pants:
Don't suppose you have any reaction to the revelation that stupid old W had an ever-so-slightly-better GPA than intellectual powerhouse John Kerry? Is it true that Kerry threw his transcripts over a fence in protest, and these are somebody else's transcripts?
Heh. Well, we're actually pretty sure they're his grades, but his statement on the issue definitely cribs from someone else's joke: ''I always told my Dad that D stood for distinction." He also explained that his grades suffered because "he spent a lot of time learning to fly." Funny, we heard that about W., too, but we're not sure anyone was talking about airplanes. The big mystery remains: Why didn't KE04 release these during the campaign? Bad grades only could have helped.