Assume Wingnuts Furious Over SNL's Cut Chuck Hagel Sketch

Assume Wingnuts Furious Over SNL's Cut Chuck Hagel Sketch

We do not know if the wingnuts are furious about the Chuck Hagel Sadtime Clown Face Hearings Hour, and how SNL cut it before air, probably because it was not funny. (We have just watched it; it was not funny.) We do not know if the wingnuts are furious, because Doktor Zoom is the only person who came to work today, and he is "easily distractible," so it is pretty much up to just us to run our stupid blog today, and we do not feel like looking at wingnut blogs because we fell yesterday while we were running with our dog (not "out for a run," because come on, just running like half a block or so, for funsies) and we did not even trip or anything, just all of a sudden our legs did not work anymore, just like when Brenda from Six Feet Under fucked those sailors so hard she got a spinal tumor in Muriel's Wedding? (YOU'RE TERRIBLE, MURIEL!) And we hurt our wrist and our palms (and our knees), just like Jesus?

You can assume though that the wingnuts are furious about SNL's unfunny and unaired sketch about which Republican senator loves Israel the mostest, because it was not true to life. Because we had those hearings on for like 184 hours, and no senators actually made any words with their mouths. They just barked. Just barking senators for 184 hours, barking.

Also, Jason Sudeikis can't make his mouth look like a sad clown, so it is not a very good Chuck Hagel.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc