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Hooray, it's time for yet another dispatch from Fox News's big fun week of failure. (No, we mean even more failure than usual.) While all of Twitter is being annoying and talking incessantly about nothing but Bran and Daenerys and Carl and Peg or whoever they are, we have been (ignoring it and) focusing on all Fox's sadness, starting with Pete Buttigieg's town hall, where he called Fox News a piece of shit to its face. Then we laughed and laughed at Fox News idiot Pete Hegseth, who is sending lots of begging to today's college graduates, that they might immediately get dropped on their heads and forget all their education, so they might grow up to be the Fox News viewers of the future.

Oh, and we haven't even had a chance to LOL at the epic hilarity of Steve Doocy trying to do man-on-the-street interviews in Midtown Manhattan, shoving the mic into the faces of New Yorkers who literally don't care if he goes and plays in traffic. That was fun!

But the point of this post is that we have finally learned what makes at least some Fox News viewers tick, and it is that Tucker Carlson "laughs like a girl." That is not us saying that, that is a Fox News fan lady telling the Washington Post's Erik Wemple why she loves Tucker Carlson so much.


Wemple was reporting on the scene from Scottsdale, Arizona, where a bunch of Fox News idiots went to congregate with the idiots who love them. The lady stanning for Tucker's girlish laugh appears at about the 55-second mark:

Opinion | Fox Nation fans care about the "truth," as long as it's from Fox www.youtube.com

Awwwww, Tucker! You are the guy who has weird issues about gay guys hitting on you in the bathroom, to the point that you once bragged about beating one of those guys up! And your number one fan says you laugh like a girl! (NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT, OBVIOUSLY.)

Like we said, Wonkette didn't say it. Personally, Wonkette thinks Tucker Carlson laughs more like Mozart in Amadeus, but without any of the redeeming qualities.

Amadeus Laugh 5 Minutes www.youtube.com

Anyway, we didn't make this post to make fun of regular no-name Fox News viewers, so we're not gonna and you can't make us.

It is interesting, though, as Wemple points out, that in talking to these folks, literally none of them talked about how much they love any of the on-air personalities at Fox who could actually be considered journalists, in any sense of the word. The news side of the network? PEE YEW! Asked about Shep Smith, one lady said "his voice is so irritating" she "has to turn it off."

It's probably because Shep is always telling the truth, in that irritating voice of his.

Hey, know what's not irritating at all, besides Tucker Carlson's laugh? Tucker Carlson getting a weird ice cream van look on his face and talking about how Democrats wants to break up crackers and crumble them into the hearty Dinty Moore stew that is Pete Buttigieg, so they can eat him up with a spoon. And it's definitely not weird.

Well, now that we've forced you all to watch that again, we think it's time for an OPEN THREAD!

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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photo by Dominic Gwinn

There was a time, a few months ago, when everyone had written off Elizabeth Warren. Well, not me, because I am a fabulous genius, but lots of other people. The "very reasonable" talking heads on all the various news channels, the kind of people who used to say things like "Oh, we'd like universal health care too, but 'the people' will never go for it!" but who definitely did not actually want universal health care for any reason, and even the Trump campaign. Though, to be fair, the Trump campaign didn't think Trump had much of a chance of winning in 2016 either.

But now, as more and more people hear her speak, hear her plans, hear what she wants to do and how she wants to do it... Elizabeth Warren is rising up in the polls. She's a contender. In the most recent Quinnipiac poll, she was closing in on Sanders for second place nationally, and in California and Nevada polls, she's in second place.

And now, according to a report from Politico, the Trump campaign is now scrambling and panicking and... stalking her?

Keep reading... Show less
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