At Least We Don't Wear Togas, For Now

Hey everybody, did you hear that America is just like Ancient Rome before the tragic collapse of that civilization when the ruling class and corporate elite fled to the Orient? A shocking new book gives all sorts of examples:

* There is so much "social decadence." Just look at the 140 million teen-aged whores on MySpace, or that celebrity heiress who fucks horses on YouTube.

* Hey wait, where did all of our military guys go? OH NOEZ!!!1!

* Who are all these non-Americans taking over our cities? Oh shit, they are Germans dressed in animal skins, and speaking Spanglish.

* Our leaders just sat around laughing while New Orleans was deliberately destroyed and all the black people were drowned, just like in Pompeii.

* When Rome finally fell, the entire public sector had been transferred to contractors and all political action required a legal bribe called a suffragium.

* "Jack Abramoff" means "Halliburton" in Latin.

The Sack of Washington [Vanity Fair]


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