At The Times, A Call For New York Cops To Do Their F*cking Jobs

  • It would seem the editorial writers of the usually sedate New York Times are a tad miffed about a thing. And it's not how hard it is to find good help these days to make organic artisanal vegan food for Little Junior, or how the ladies need to stop being more successful than the menfolk and just marry whatever Tom, Dick, or Harry is interested. Nope, the Times is, in fact, righteously and justifiably a tad miffed -- and by "a tad miffed," we mean AS MAD AS HELL at New York's "finest" -- and they are NOT going to take it anymore:

    Mayor Bill de Blasio has been in office barely a year, and already forces of entropy are roaming the streets, turning their backs on the law, defying civil authority and trying to unravel the social fabric.

    No, not squeegee-men or turnstile-jumpers. We’re talking about the cops.

    Oh, ZING! and SNAP! and BURN! and please do go on, The Times:

    The madness has to stop. The problem is not that a two-week suspension of “broken windows” policing is going to unleash chaos in the city. The problem is that cops who refuse to do their jobs and revel in showing contempt to their civilian leaders are damaging the social order all by themselves. [...]

    If the Police Department’s current commanders cannot get the cops to do their jobs, Mr. de Blasio should consider replacing them.

    Is there more? Yes! There is more, and while we are not in the habit of praising the New York Times, which is not in the habit of being praiseworthy, we are like, AWWWW YEAH, you tell it, The Times. Go read it and savor every deliciously rightfully angry word of it.

  • You guys like boobs, right? Duh, of course you do. Our friends at Happy Nice Time People have some for you, and yes, we know you're thankful already:

    Is Instagram’s policy of allowing photos of male nipples but not female nipples anywhere near your list of the top 1,000 things you’d bother to protest? No? Then you’re not Chelsea Handler.

    Oh yeah. You have to click the link to actually see the boobs. You didn't think we were gonna make it that easy for you, did ya?

  • You wanna see some pretty non-boob pictures?

    With its sights set some 7,000 light-years into the darkness, the Hubble Space Telescope has captured an illuminating, yet ominous, new look at a cosmic classic. “The Pillars of Creation,” an awe-inspiring trio of gas columns coated by bright newborn stars, was first photographed by the telescope in 1995.

    Now, NASA has released a new infrared look that reveals what may remain of its iconic dust columns following a supernova blast some 6,000 years ago.

  • Good thing Republicans are in charge of the whole entire Congress now, so they can finally spend the taxpayers' hard-mooched dollars on what really matters, FINALLY:

    The Select Committee on Benghazi will continue to convene in 2015, over the objections of Democrats, after House Republicans pushed through language Tuesday to reauthorize the panel without giving any budget or time limits for its work.

    The GOP did not allow for a separate up-or-down vote that would have permitted members to debate the continuation of the special panel. The panel cost upwards of $1 million to operate last Congress, when the House voted to establish it.

  • The always delightful Mallory Ortberg -- big fan of Yr Editrix, as you know -- does that delightful thing where she is delightful:

    When my employer called me into his office and granted me paternity leave on the birth of my first child, I had no idea what I was in for. Most of my male coworkers had already left the office at this point, having impregnated willing strangers in order to take twelve weeks’ paid time off in exchange for eighteen years of financial and personal responsibility.

  • While we're making fun of dudes -- you did get that the always delightful Mallory Ortberg (see above re: Mallory Ortberg being delightful) was making fun of dudes, right? -- please enjoy Every Internet Conversation With Dudes, Ever. Seriously. Go do it. NOW.

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