Attention Marco Rubio: That Is Not What Michael Flynn Did You F*cking Sh*tmouth
Up for reelection in 2022, just saying.

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Florida Man) would just like to let you know he has had it up to here with the double standards of Democratic hypocrites, because Marco Rubio is a very smart man. In response to an article about Joe Biden taking congratulatory phone calls from foreign leaders, Rubio cranked his dudgeon up to its highest setting and complained on Twitter Tuesday morning: Didn't Democrats think talking on the phone to foreigns was the worst thing ever when it happened during the Trump transition?

Haha, GOTCHA, libs! You all were so outraged when Donald Trump's designated National Security Adviser Michael Flynn had secret phone calls with Russian officials in which he directly undermined Barack Obama, but now you don't seem to care at all that Joe Biden has talked to foreign leaders on the record. Shame on you, those are exactly the same because PHONE CALLS.

We suppose if you wanted to give Rubio the benefit of the doubt — something no one should ever give him, just as you wouldn't hand him the keys to your car or credit for political courage — you might say he was reading entirely too much into a comment by former Barack Obama national security staffer Ben Rhodes, who said on MSNBC Monday that Biden had

The center of political gravity in this country and the world is shifting to Joe Biden. Foreign leaders are already having phone calls with Joe Biden, talking about the agenda they're going to pursue on January 20th. If that reality hasn't sunk in yet for some people in the White House, it will sink in when they have to leave on January 20th. And they're going to be in for a rude awakening here.

Ooh, see, Biden is actually talking to foreign leaders about foreign policy before he's sworn in, and that's just obviously the exact same thing Flynn did, GOTCHA again, Dems!

Just as long as you don't get into the specifics too much, maybe, particularly not the bit where Flynn urged Russian Ambassador Sergei Kislyak not to overreact to sanctions Barack Obama placed on Russia in response to its attempts to swing the 2016 election for Donald Trump, because Trump was going to reverse them, just be patient.

Clearly, Flynn promising the ambassador of a US rival that it won't be held responsible for election interference is pretty much the same as Biden telling European leaders he intends to rejoin the Paris climate agreement and strengthen NATO, isn't it? The mere detail that Flynn acted in secret and lied about it to the FBI hardly seems important. Nor does the fact that, as far as the reporting goes, Biden has simply been talking about his already-public policy stances, while the Trump team denied it had any contacts at all with Russia.

Gosh, Marco Rubio really caught Dems in a contradiction there!

Rubio also issued a statement yesterday in which he accused "the media" — all of them — of a pile of double standards, for shame for shame, and called on the press to have "some self-awareness."

You spent four years claiming that Russians hacked the last election. You supported Democrats when they went to court to overturn the Governor's race in Georgia in 2018. And you say nothing when, to this day, they claim that they won that race. [...]

And you railed against how dangerous Trump rallies were, but now you seem to have no problem with Biden supporters celebrating in big crowds. So Republicans, I think, have good reason to believe that some of you are just a little biased.

To which we can only say 1) So did the entire US intelligence community, and 1a) so did the Senate Intel Committee, on which Rubio serves; 2) We weren't aware Joe Biden was in charge of disenfranchising likely Trump voters this year (and no, Stacey Abrams never declared herself the winner, though Brian Kemp is a skunk); and 3) Oh fuck you, the celebrations were outside and virtually everyone wore masks. Also 4) Haha, Marco Rubio calling on anyone else to have some self-awareness.

We can only presume Rubio will now go on to explain Democrats had no right to criticize Trump followers for trying to box in and stop a Biden campaign bus on a freeway in Texas, because wasn't the Biden bus on the freeway too? When Rubio said "We love what they did," he clearly meant he was proud that the Trump-flag bedecked trucks were out there on the road, is all. Since when is having wheels a crime, libs?

We also hope the National Council of Teachers of English will recognize Rubio for his contributions to classroom teaching, since he's provided some smart teacher a handy set of examples to use in a lesson on false equivalency.

[Real Clear Politics / Marco Rubio on Twitter / Florida Politics]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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