Suck it, haters.

United States Attorney General Loretta Lynch is pissed off, y'all. After the Justice Department told North Carolina to fix its damn transgender bathroom law so it does not discriminate, and is in compliance with federal law (which actually supersedes state law, #ScienceFact), North Carolina hick-baby Gov. Pat McCrory's response was to file a bullshit frivolous lawsuit about how he DOESN'T WANNA follow federal law, because God Hates Transgender Bathrooms or whatever.

Lynch and Vanita Gupta, head of the Department of Justice's Civil Rights Division, held a presser Monday afternoon to announce how far up North Carolina's ass Lynch intends to stick her foot. It's with their own federal lawsuit, filed against the state of North Carolina! The suit explains that YES, North Carolina HB 2 is in violation of Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, and also of Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972, and also the Violence Against Women Reauthorization of 2013. That is three big laws North Carolina is violating right now!

Here are some of the best parts of what Lynch had to say about her home state of North Carolina:

We asked [that North Carolina] certify by the end of the day they will not comply with or implement the restrictions on restroom access and an extension was requested by North Carolina and was under active consideration. Instead of replying to our offer or applying for certification, the state of North Carolina and its governor chose to respond by suing the Department of Justice. As a result of their decisions, we are now moving forward. Today we are filing a federal civil rights lawsuit against the state of North Carolina, Governor Pat McCrory, the North Carolina Department of Public Safety, and the University of North Carolina.


Lynch explained that "this action is about a great deal more than bathrooms," and stuck it RIGHT OUT THERE that hey, North Carolina, you are one of those southern states that has a pretty nasty history of discrimination, and it would be nice if you did not do that anymore:

This is not the first time we have seen discriminatory responses to historic moments of progress in our nation. We saw it in the Jim Crow laws that followed the Emancipation Proclamation. We saw it in the fierce arguments against Brown vs. the Board Of Education and the fight against same-sex unions. [...]

This is not a time to act out of fear. [...] Let us instead learn from our history and avoid repeating the mistakes of our past. Let us reflect on the obvious but neglected lesson that state sanctioned discrimination never looks good and never works in hindsight.

Lynch also said, "It was not so very long ago that states including North Carolina had signs above restaurants, water fountains, on public accommodations, keeping people out based on a distinction without a difference." Hmmmm, Gov. McCrory, what do you have to say about that? Meh, probably some bullshit about OUR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS!

The Justice Department's lawsuit goes to great pains to explain to these North Carolina dongweasels what gender identity actually is, and informs them that no, you silly geese, it's not just whether a baby has a boy thing or a girl thing in its diaper. The suit even helpfully explains How Transgender Works, in case McCrory and the Republicans in the North Carolina legislature ain't know how to Google shit for themselves.

It's a far cry from Pat McCrory's lawsuit, which actually uses the argument that there is no discrimination in North Carolina HB 2, because whether you're transgender or not, you have to use the potty that corresponds to your biological sex. See, it's all equal! This argument, of course, was used a gajillion times in the gay marriage fight, it was bullshit then, and the Supreme Court laughed at it. McCrory, as we might have mentioned, is a very stupid man.

Lynch is seeking the death penalty for the all the idiots in North Carolina who made HB 2 happen. HAHA JUST KIDDING, she's not a monster! The suit merely asks the court to affirm that North Carolina is in violation of all those laws, "issue a preliminary and permanent injunction" against the enforcement of the bad law, and "such additional relief as the needs of justice may require," which is probably the part where Loretta Lynch personally STICKS HER FOOT UP NORTH CAROLINA'S DUMB ASS. That or starts cuttin' off the state's sweet, sweet government cash, wouldn't that be so sad?

[Justice Department lawsuit]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.

Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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