Donate

Well, they actually did it! We guess the Trump White House wants to change the subject from Omarosa or how Donald Trump probably says the "N-word" all the fucking time, so Sarah Huckabee Sanders announced today that former CIA director John Brennan is GUILTY! of hurting Donald Trump's feelings, therefore they shall taketh away his security clearance! AND NO QUESTIONS ABOUT OMAROSA WERE ASKED!

We didn't think they'd actually follow through on their threat, but we guess this week is just that shitty, so hey, let's punish political enemies and slide a bit further down Donald Trump's path of destroying the United States of America with authoritarianism.

In announcing Brennan's punishment, Sarah Huckabee Sanders read a statement from President Russian Intelligence Asset citing Brennan's (nonexistent) "erratic conduct and behavior" and "frenzied commentary," and added (in so many words) that it is just unfair for people to have access to classified information if they refuse to kiss Donald Trump's scabby taint:


Sanders also said they are reviewing the clearances of James Clapper, James Comey, Michael Hayden, Sally Yates, Susan Rice, Andrew McCabe, Peter Strzok, Lisa Page and Bruce Ohr. Of course, Hayden said when the threats were first made that he ain't give a care, because he doesn't use his fucking security clearance anyway. Also, Comey was fired, so he doesn't have his anymore. Same goes for McCabe. We surmise Peter Strzok and Sally Yates are in similar situations. So even in making good on their very authoritarian threat, the Trump White House is still fucking full of shit.

But what do all those people have in common? DING DING DING, they are on Donald Trump's enemies list!

By the way, want proof this is just a distraction? Here is the White House statement on the revocation of Brennan's clearance. It's dated three weeks ago. They rolled this out because "SQUIRREL!"

When the White House first made this threat, Brennan called it "very, very petty" and also very un-American. (Just about sums up the Trump regime right there!) Last night, Brennan said on MSNBC that Trump has "sullied the reputation of the office of the presidency," and that he is the "most divisive president we've ever had in the Oval Office."

Here's what Brennan tweeted last night:

Here's what Brennan tweeted on Monday:

OH YEAH? YOU GONNA HURT THE PRESIDENT'S TWITTER FEELINGS LIKE THAT? WELL, TAKE THAT, BRENNAN! NO MORE STATE SECRETS FOR YOU!

Has John Brennan abused his access to classified information? Fuck no. He has hurt Dear Leader's fragile feelings. That's it. Hey, know who has abused his access to our nation's secrets? DONALD FUCKING GODDAMNED TRUMP. We still don't know what he told Vladimir Putin in the bedchamber in Helsinki, but we all remember that time he jizzed code word level intel all over the Russian ambassador in the Oval Office! Also, Jared Kushner has a fucking security clearance, and half the goddamn world considers him an intelligence asset at this point.

Let us be absolutely clear. This is only happening because Donald Trump is an absolute moron and a thin-skinned whiny baby shithole human who can't stand it when people better and smarter than he is stand up and criticize him. As Sarah Silverman once said, if the man ever had a moment of self reflection, he would "eat a bullet." (In case it's not clear, she was saying Trump would do that to himself. Remember the commenting policy, loves.) She added: "He's such a pussy. Colossal pussy."

As we noted when the White House made this original threat, this is a prime example of Trump shooting his own dick off and swearing he found a Vienna sausage on the ground. The entire point of people like Brennan having clearances is that they can be called upon to help the current administration, with their expertise. Susan Hennessey from Lawfare points out that making good on the threat may have another unintended consequence:

WAY TO PISS OFF THE SPIES AGAIN, CHAMP.

In summary and in conclusion, this is mega fucked. Also, Wonkette would like to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to Michelle Wolf for writing the Aunt Lydia joke we are borrowing right now! Now that we are fully into the second season of "The Handmaid's Tale," we really get how perfect of a descriptor it is for Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT NOW, DO IT RIGHT NOW!

Help Wonkette LIVE FOREVER! Seriously, if you can, please hit the tip jar below and make a donation of MONEY. Or click this link to become a monthly subscriber!

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

$
Donate with CC

Can we just say that when Fox idiot Maria Bartiromo sounds like the sane person in a situation, that is a worrisome situation? That is what happened when Donald Trump -- who's just had a fantastic Infrastructure Week, assuming it is Infrastructure Week, and we always do -- sat down for what was supposed to be an easy breezy "You're the best!"/"No YOU are, Mister President!" interview with his beloved Fox pals.

Instead Maria Bartiromo had to ask the question on everybody's mind, which is WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU OH MY GOD, or, more clearly, is there a reason you have spent this entire week of your presidency picking a fight with a dead guy, who somehow seems to be winning that fight, because you are literally so stupid and incompetent you LOSE FIGHTS TO DEAD GUYS?

She said it nicer than that, though.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Last fall, after Wisconsin voters rejected Gov. Scott Walker's reelection bid and chose Democrat Tony Evers instead, Republicans in the state legislature got very busy doing anything they could to limit the power of the incoming governor and the new Democratic attorney general, Josh Kaul. Hey, voters may have chosen Evers, but that didn't mean Rs had to let Democrats actually govern, now did it? As Republican state House Speaker Robin Vos rather notoriously said at the time, the lege had to act because "We are going to have a very liberal governor who is going to enact policies that are in direct contrast to what many of us believe in." So in a two day "extraordinary session," the Republicans shifted power from the executive branch and gave those powers to the legislature, which conveniently remained in Republican control thanks to gerrymandering. Scott Walker signed the bills and then began his career as an idiot on Twitter.

Yesterday, a Wisconsin judge found the entire lame duck session violated the state constitution, and invalidated the laws it passed. Dane County Circuit Judge Richard Niess said in his decision the Wisconsin constitution is quite specific about when the legislature can meet, and nope, the "extraordinary session" didn't meet the constitutional requirements, so sorry guys, you didn't follow the rules and your laws ARE MOOT.

The Associated Press lawsplains the constitutional neener-neener:

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc