Ayn Rand Dating Site Marginally Less Horrifying Than 'Ayn Rand Dating Site' Might Imply

We were excited to learn that this is a thing that exists in the world: An online dating site called "The Atlasphere," which is dedicated to "connecting admirers ofThe Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged. " Admirers, because a great thinker does not have mere "fans." So of course, we registered and got ourselves a clever username ("Galt Trip") and went looking for the wackiest, most completely out-there profiles we could find, and boy, were we ever surprised to find out that...Objectivists trying to attract a romantic partner are INCREDIBLY BORING.

Seriously, you would expect it would be a laff riot up in there, with all sorts of incredibly selfish me-me-me stuff in the dating profiles, but actually, we have seen far more outrageously assholish profiles in general-purpose dating sites like OKCupid. Oh, sure, you get some Rand-inflected stuff like this note from "DominiqueTaggart," 23, in Fiji:

Virtues I recognize, earn and revere include rationality, truth, self-interest, self-confidence, originality of thought, creativity, productivity, justice,... I hate altruism, dishonesty, irrationality and hypocrisy.

I am a real person because I have rational thought; I have real feelings because I believe in Objectivism with such intense passion.

And she has real tautologies because...

There's "Liberty5-3000," who is looking for her very own "Equality 7-2521" (these are characters from Rand's dystopian fable Anthem, though you can also sing her name to the tune of a great old Glenn Miller song). She reports that because she is sensitive to other people, she sometimes feels a little bad for people "who believe in the socialist state, when I destroy them in argument" and admits that in college she did her best to try to understand other views besides Objectivism, which is the only true way to see the world:

I graduated from UCLA in 2010 with a major in Philosophy and a minor in Race and Ethnic Studies. I really wanted to know personally on an intellectual level (if that's even possible) why and how the modern liberal thought (or didn't think). Thus, I have extensively studied their political views in college and even grew a reputation wherever I went. In class, I've been called "racist" and "heartless", but I just figure these labels are appropriate for someone who has an actual sense of justice.

"Liberty5-3000" closes her profile by noting:

"Also, my favorite word is "dominate". I apply it to all aspects of life."

So at least that seems like something from an Ayn Rand novel. We bet she's getting some really peachy emails.

And then there's the Objectivist lass who says she's "currently in the middle of a career change from hospitality to social work," which seems maybe a strange career choice for a Rand admirer, which she acknowledges, but explains that she really likes working with seniors in a nursing home environment. Good for her, but isn't that likely to get her thrown out of the club? Useless Olds are supposed to be left on an ice floe!

The men appear to be the usual mix that you'd find in online dating, though perhaps with a higher percentage of guys from India; we were not aware Rand was so big in Hyderabad. Several intriguing fellows hope to find a woman who is their intellectual equal. One wise gent is delighted to find a refuge from the small-mindedness of other dating sites:

Through other online dating sites I discovered that most people in New York City don't have the same outlook on life (profiles actually included "Don't write to me if you agree with Ayn Rand"). Thankfully, I came across this website because I want to date a woman who shares my philosophy and outlook on life.

Another, a rakish chap of 67 who describes himself as a "FORMER navy seal , recently retired" but now doing "contract work in the global intel arena," says that his perfect partner

should be a warm loving lady or i'll probably drive her crazy--like to dance - ride my trike , cook, work out... spiritual and in touch with god (personal relationship)--an old soul--looking for a pretty lady, very warm and sensual -please DO NOT CONTACT me without a PICTURE .

So if you want an athletic spy with a trike, ladies, you'd better be a looker. There's another independent-minded soul who proves that he is his own man by citing the dictionary:

Free-spirit: "One who is not restrained, as by convention or obligation; a non-conformist."

But our favorite is Ramesh K, 49, in New Jersey, whose profile is a freakin' flowchart:

If I could describe myself in 1 word, I would say I'm rational.

When I say I'm rational, it means I use nothing but reason to grasp facts, deal with people, and pursue values.

I'm seeking an intelligent, sensitive and passionate lady.

In this context:

1. intelligent means using objective concepts to grasp the facts of reality and applying rational principles to pursue values in it.

2. sensitive means ensuring one's behaving rationally towards others and expecting others to behave rationally towards you.

3. passionate means discovering the objective values one's life requires and taking the rational actions necessary to achieve them.

What can I offer such a lady in a love relationship?

Well, in essential terms, I'll respect her right to:

1. think for herself.

This means if I disagree with her and the issue is important enough to let her know what I think, I'll politely do so, provided she wants to know my views.

2. live her own life.

This means if I dislike the way she does things and I can show her a better way to do them, I'll patiently do so, provided she is willing to consider my suggestions...

And so on. He sounds kind of sweet, in a horrible, obsessive, "I need to re-think the organization of my silverware drawer tonight" kind of way.

But all in all, we were disappointed. Not a single "Must be superior to the common scum" or "Seeking a partner with whom I can fly above the herd" or "experience with thrill killing a plus" in there. So we suppose there is a lesson in here: When objectivists are trying to get laid, they aren't nearly as douchey as they are when they're posting blog comments.

[ The Atlasphere ]