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B. Hussein Obama’s Secret Plan To Make Your Guns Into Chinese Jeeps

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In case you we wondering, Barack HUSSEIN Obama totally plans to take away your guns now that he has his second term. But you knew that already, right? Everyone knew that was Obama’s plan. Otherwise, it will be awfully hard to ship the teabaggers to the Agenda 21 approved, Sharia FEMA Camps if they are shooting back at the UN/ATF/Basij shock troops.

So, yeah, there are many good and practical reasons to confiscate all the guns in America—except those belonging the jackbooted federal agents and drug dealers—before Obama literally changes America as we know it.

However, there is a deeper motive for taking every God-fearing heartland American’s most prized possession, the limited edition Dale Earnhardt memorial bar mirror and Freedom Tray expected. Guns are made of steel (or metal, whatever) and our nation’s firearms stockpile accounts for a huge reserve of valuable metal. China wants all that metal. To build Jeeps.

Many years ago in Saul Alinsky’s madrassa, Obama cut a deal with George Soros whereby Obama would get himself elected to a second term as president and confiscate all the guns. Then he gives the guns to Soros, who melts them down and sells the metal to China for pennies on the dollar.

Obama gets a disarmed populace he can easily herd into FEMA Camps, Soros gets a tidy profit, and China gets cheap metal to build Jeeps. The Chinese will sell those Jeeps back to the U.S. government so FEMA Camp commandants can patrol their facilities in the style befitting agents of the Third World failed state regime that Obama envisions.

Probably this is why Obama had Mittens at the White House yesterday. Obama, a black, was all like: “The Greek [Soros] has a sweet metal connect, I’m talking the raw, to sell to China. Keep your crew in line on this gun thing and Bain gets a piece of that action. We co-op”

Romney, though confused by Stinger’s Obama’s “street lingo” and unable to recognize obvious Wire references, likely grasped the profit potential of Obama’s pitch and readily agreed. Typical Massachusetts moderate.

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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