Dumbf*ck Baby Trumper Grifter Headed To The Hoosegow!
Pour one out for the wee wingers, Wonkers. Twenty-three-year-old John Lambert, the baby-faced founder of the political juggernaut Students For Trump, found himself in a spot of bother with the the Southern District of New York yesterday. And by "baby faced," we mean pimply. And by "political juggernaut," we mean bunch of Covington Catholic douchebros who just hitched their wagon to the racist country club rejects at Turning Points USA. And by "spot of bother," we mean a felony conviction which will probably make him a guest of the federal government for the next 21 months.
Back in August of 2016, when Lambert was all of 20 years old, he set up a website offering legal services in the name of Eric Pope, a graduate of NYU law with 15 years of experience in business and finance and a partner in the New York law firm Pope and Dunn. Which was almost entirely true, except that Eric Pope doesn't exist, Lambert never attended law school, and the entire scheme was operated out of his bedroom in North Carolina. So close!
Lambert's real vocation appears to be faux-patriotic boob shots.
But instead of following his true calling, or taking the LSATs like everyone else who couldn't quite figure out what they're supposed to do after college, Lambert decided to make the legal profession great again by joining it immediately. For two years, he practiced "law" as Eric Pope, cheerfully billing clients for his "services." According to SDNY's press release:
LAMBERT's victims included at least six individuals and corporations who paid him money for purported legal advice and services. The victims hired LAMBERT to provide legal advice and services on a wide range of subjects, including issues with their credit reports, drafting a will, corporate and intellectual property law, and a dispute with a former employee. One of the victims withdrew money from his 401(k) account to pay LAMBERT.
As US Attorney Geoffrey S. Berman, Trump's appointee to head up SDNY, said yesterday, "John Lambert represented himself to clients as a prominent New York attorney with a law degree from an elite law school. But Lambert's de facto career was one of a grifter: He had never been to law school and certainly wasn't an attorney." Grifting in Trumpland? Fam, we are shook!
(LOL too also, he called him a "grifter." Does Geoffrey Berman read Your Wonkette? Probably definitely allegedly!)
Yesterday in Manhattan, Lambert pled guilty to one count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud in connection with a scheme to defraud consumers of legal advice and services and agreed to pay a fine of $46,000. He'll be doing federal time, i.e. no parole, because he was dumb enough run his scam across state lines. And that means he won't get to vote for his hero next November. SAD!
Maybe he'll get to room with Michael Cohen up at Otisville. They should have lots in common, since that guy is also not a lawyer, at least not any more. Plus, you know, they're both goddamn idiots.
Is America great again yet?
[NY Daily News / SDNY Press Release / US v. Lambert]
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Not sure this dipshit rises to the level of a lawsplainer, but you should money us anyway!
Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.
