Jim Jordan And Alan Dershowitz Have Thoughts On Trump's Acquittal. They Are Idiot Thoughts.

What happened on Saturday was disappointing, yet predictable. The Senate, by a margin of 57-43, decided Donald Trump was guilty of the article of impeachment, of inciting the January 6 Capitol attack. Of course, conviction in the Senate requires 67 senators. Most of the Sunday shows hosted House managers and Democratic senators talking about the weekend's events.

The exception, of course, was patient zero of propaganda masquerading as a news channel, Fox News. And no other show gloated more about Trump's "win" that Maria Bartiromo's obnoxious show "Sunday Morning Futures."

Bartiromo hosted GOP Rep. Jim Jordan and Alan Dershowitz. Jordan began by rejoicing the victory for insurrectionists:

JORDAN: Great news for the country! I mean, remember what the Democrats were trying to do, Maria. They were trying to "cancel" the guy that 74 million Americans voted for because they didn't want him to be on the ballot, have a chance to be on the ballot, in 2024. And they were so obsessed with this going after the president, that they were willing to ignore the Constitution and willing to ignore due process [...] willing to ignore the facts, willing to doctor evidence and willing to at the last minute try to call witnesses when that made absolutely no sense to do so. So this is how focused and obsessed they've been. It was a good day for the country that the president was acquitted again.

Jim Jordan loves to hear himself speak, even if it's "Billy Madison" levels of incoherent ramblings.

To respond quickly:

  • GOP Trump sycophants keep pulling out the "74 million votes" stat like that somehow justifies an insurrection against the even more impressive 81 million Americans who voted for Joe Biden.
  • Trump could have avoided all this unpleasantness if he hadn't incited a violent mob.
  • Democrats followed the Constitution and had to move quickly because Trump incited the insurrection in public, on TV, in the last few days of his presidency. The House managers presented plenty of facts and evidence to the senators who were also witnesses.
  • You can't complain about not enough due process and then also complain about being offered more due process in the form of witnesses.
  • Saturday was only a good day for future presidential hopefuls who are also criminals. But otherwise!

Bartiromo asked Alan Dershowitz to bring his "brilliant" legal analysis to this and he proceeded to split the acquittal baby in half:

DERSHOWITZ: I think a great day for Mitch McConnell because he taught us a civics lesson. You don't have to support President Trump or Donald Trump. You don't have to agree with his speech to support the First Amendment and to support the Constitution's limitations on the power of the Senate to put a former president on trial. McConnell accepted the constitutional argument that I've been making from the very beginning. That Congress has no power to put on trial "Citizen Trump." So it was a very good day for the Constitution, not such a great day for Donald Trump because McConnell and others criticized him. Look, the reason that they went for witnesses is that they counted the votes [...] so they threw a Hail Mary and it backfired. [...] It totally backfired, because the Trump Team said "Alright! You call one witness, we'll call ninety. We'll have depositions [...] This trial will never be over." And so they backed away and they allowed for just a stipulation to go in on a hearsay statement. The result was the right result yesterday and it was very, very good day for the Constitution.

Dersh, unlike Jordan, is a little better at giving his bullshit a thin veil of legality and reason. He's still full of shit, though. Here are just a few examples:

  • The House impeached Trump while he was still president. Mitch McConnell prevented the trial from happening until after Trump was out of office.
  • Dershowitz says the Trump team could have called "ninety witnesses" and forced endless depositions, which ignores that each witness called would have required a majority vote. Hit that link for more explanation of how it would have worked, but the point is that Trump's team had zero power to call more witnesses than Democrats.
  • "Citizen Trump" sounds like a horrible remake of Orson Welles's masterpiece.

Dersh, Bartiromo and Jordan are not counting on people to know things or even care to know things. They praised Trump's legal team, despite how most GOP senators are such bootlickers -- a few even actively assisted Trump's defense -- that a rabid opossum could have defended Trump and achieved the same results.

Here is a final thought from Jim Jordan:

It's offensive that we ever lose to these idiots.

Have a week!

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Michael Mora

Your friendly neighborhood Puerto Rican Political Freelance Writer for @wonkette. Pop Culture observer, Amateur Movie reviewer & Comics fan. Former Active Duty Marine. All opinions are mine only.


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