Badass John Fetterman Wants To Be Next PA Senator, How You Like That?
We have happy and wonderful news for you, and it is that our He-Man boyfriend Pennsylvania Lieutenant Governor John Fetterman is running for the Senate, to take that seat back for the Dems from whatever Grossface McStinkerton Republican is retirning from it, oh that's right it is Pat Toomey.
Wonkette is not endorsing Fetterman officially, because Conor Lamb might also run in the Democratic primary for the seat, and he is also our boyfriend*, just not our He-Man boyfriend. (Plz don't tell them about each other!)
Fetterman became famous on the internet during Donald Trump's attempt to mount a coup and steal democracy, after Joe Biden beat the shit out of him in Pennsylvania, with votes. Texas idiot Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick was offering a million dollar reward for somebody, anybody to find him some evidence of some voter fraud. Fetterman had found some in Forty Fort, Pennsylvania, a town that is really named that.
Hey, Governor Patrick- it’s your counterpart in Pennsylvania. I’d like to collect your handsome reward for repor… https://t.co/yswoURxeYB— John Fetterman (@John Fetterman)1605052207.0
We are pretty sure Dan Patrick never paid the fuck up.
Fetterman was all over the place fighting back against Trump's coup, and now he wants to fight for the whole entire state of Pennsylvania in the United States Senate.
Here, have some announcement video:
Thank you to the 37,000 grassroots donors who stepped up. Now, it's my turn. Let's get to work… https://t.co/Cuqku3pyus— John Fetterman (@John Fetterman)1612782010.0
Fetterman is six feet and eight inches tall, he has some tattoos, and he is running on a platform that can only be described as progressive-as-fuck.
Here, have some campaign promises:
✅ Rebuilding distressed communities. ✅ Power of a 2nd Chance. ✅ No places left behind. ✅ Legal Weed for USA. 🇺🇸… https://t.co/1lAt2FPyWB— John Fetterman (@John Fetterman)1612787479.0
That's right, he's VERY TALL and he loves healthcare and living wages and unions and criminal justice reform and LGBTQIA equality and WEED WEED WEED.
Know what else? Here's a fact about him. Know what? As mayor of tiny Braddock, Pennsylvania, Fetterman was the first elected official ever to perform gay weddings in Pennsylvania, and he did it at his house, before it was legal, and his house was a "former car dealership that he and his wife [were] renovating."
This is just a cool ass dude.
He promises that if you send him to the Senate, he will be "100% Sedition-Free," which is a thing you have to say now in America because a large contingent of elected Republicans in Congress are not that.
Look at his cool-ass family:
So very many of you stepped up and I can’t thank you enough. Every 67 counties. All 50 states.… https://t.co/onKoVSMih5— John Fetterman (@John Fetterman)1612782571.0
As we noted, Conor Lamb might also enter this primary, and we like him too. The New York Times says Rep. Brendan Boyle might get in too. So who knows what's gonna happen?
Point is, though, that this is a race we can and should get excited about, because it's eminently fuckin' winnable. Tom Wolf, the governor of Pennsylvania, won re-election in 2018 with Fetterman on his ticket by almost 18 points. You also may recall, because we already mentioned it in this post, that Joe Biden beat Donald Trump's balls off in 2020. We get a kickass person running for the Senate there, guess what's coming to the Senate? Another Democratic senator from Pennsylvania.
Wanna start throwing your money at Democratic candidates for 2022? Not a bad place to start.
Let's get this shit done.
[* Conor Lamb is Evan's boyfriend only, maybe Liz's, but is NOT official Wonkette boyfriend like not even, that is what I get for letting people have their own opinions pfft. — Editrix]
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