Baltimore Football Fans Cheer Total Destruction of Indianapolis

Don't worry, we'll get you back to the dinner theater in no time - WonketteShocking news: the government is unprepared for a major terrorist attack. With most of the National Guard busy inspiring new terrorists overseas, our nation's large midwestern cities remain vulnerable to attacks that would never actually happen because what Islamo-fascist has even heard of Indiana?

A 10-kiloton nuclear bomb has just detonated in greater Indianapolis, killing 14,000 people, injuring 21,000 and overwhelming local responders as part of the largest and most complex military and civilian training exercise of its kind.

The government's response was confused and disappointing, both because much of the Guard's equipment and many of their men are in Iraq and Afghanistan, and also because half of them accidentally went to Minneapolis. Two specialized Guard response teams ended up, inexplicably, in Cleveland.

As the Guard trained in Indianapolis, an actual homemade Hydrogen bomb was detonated in Gary, but no one noticed.

Many Lessons in Disaster Drill [WP]


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