Baltimore Kids Boo-Urns Melania Trump, Nation So Sad About It
It looks like children don't like Melanie Trump any more than I do, and children eat their own boogers. The first lady showed her sorry ass at the B'More Youth Summit on Opioid Awareness yesterday, and a roomful of students greeted her with boos. If you think that's shockingly rude, keep in mind she was in Baltimore, Maryland, a city Donald Trump -- the man she married on a dare -- called a "disgusting, rat and rodent infested mess" where "no human being would want to live." The president gave his scathing TripAdviser review in July. They're probably still real mad.
Melania told the middle and high school students in attendance that "I'm in this fight for you, and I'm fighting for you." Some of the younger kids might still believe in Santa Claus, but none of them were dumb enough to believe this. She proceeded to share some warmed-over stale "just say no" pablum. The best thing I can say about her speech is that her coat was fierce.
The holiday season is starting, so we all need to spend quality time with our families watching kids boo Melania Trump. Enjoy!
Melania Trump Loudly Booed At Opioid Summit In Baltimore | Craig Melvin | MSNBC youtu.be
Antia McBride, the chief of staff to former first lady Laura Bush, praised Melania for bravely venturing into what she made sound like a third-world nation instead of an American city with amazing fish sandwiches.
MCBRIDE: Good for her for going there, it's a city that needs help and support. When you're a public figure, there's always a risk of this happening. But your visibility is needed on the issue. At the end of the day, that's the most important thing.
No, the most important thing is the actual "help and support." Melania is not invisible, I'll give her that, but her mere existence on the physical plane isn't going to solve anything.
This morning, on "Fox & Friends," Tomi Lahren decried the vulgar children who booed the queen consort. She wondered where these kids learned to "disrespect" others. I think they might've picked it up from the president who pissed on their hometown. Sensible people understand that true respect is mutual, but conservatives like Lahren don't want respect. They demand submission from those they consider inferior to them.
LAHREN: They learn that because they don't believe they have to respect Melania or anyone with the last name of Trump, because the media and congressional leaders and Democrats have told them that they don't have to. That it's their moral right to do those things.
Sure, lady, Baltimore schoolchildren follow the lead of House Democrats. "What would Schiffy do?" is something you frequently hear on the basketball courts. However, it is both our moral and constitutional right to express our displeasure with elected figures and their trophy wives. Republicans should take notes from their "small-R" republican friends across the pond and accept that this isn't a monarchy.
LAHREN: This is an epidemic in this country. Not just of people like anyone with the last name of Trump, but just with young people being completely disrespectful.
That is such absurd melodrama they should play "The Young & the Restless" theme in the background. I don't think people have a problem with everyone who's named Trump. They take issue with specific and uniquely terrible people who share that name. Lahren is a professional troll, so she's the last person who can complain about an "epidemic" of disrespect.
Lahren also played the tiresome "imagine if she were Michelle Obama" game. Barack Obama didn't insult the entire city of Baltimore. This is apples and oranges that commit impeachable offenses. If she wants a world where everyone's treated equally regardless of their actual actions, she can become the strawman socialist everyone on Fox News mocks. There are no participation trophies for politicians, either. It's not a liberal media conspiracy if more people like the Obamas than the Trumps. Maybe the Trumps just aren't working hard enough like the poor people Fox pundits believe don't deserve a living wage or decent health care.
Before we go, here's a clip of Melania Trump "respectfully" spreading birther bullshit about Obama in 2011.
Feel free to boo the first lady on your way out.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).