Barack Obama and the Ghost of Rodney Dangerfield Go Back To School
It is time for the "Back to School" episode on America's favorite pornographic Interweb serial,"West Wing One Cup," so one could be forgiven for assuming one would see images of Barack Obama going back to his Muslin kindergarten in the Congo to say, "Hey, everybody." Unfortunately, this does not occur in this week's installment. But so many other things happen!
On Saturday, September 11th, Obamar went to a wreath-laying ceremony at the Pentagon with his best friends Mullen and Gates. After everyone was done fucking the shit out of said wreath, there was much high-fiving and playful shoulder-punching. The wreath sat quietly, hoping to be invited to the afterparty at the White House Bar and Grille, but no one invited it. So the wreath yelled, "WHATEVER, jerks!" and spent the evening at home watching "Loose Change," eating ice cream, and furiously texting back and forth with its gal pals.
(Actually Obamar made a genuinely moving speech and there was a very lovely ceremony for the families of the deceased, but this is a Radical Leftist Jerkblog and thus full of lies.)
On Monday, Bamz called some factory that is making electric cars with moolah from the Recovery Act. Then it was time for Nickelodeon's "BARACK OBAMA INVADES YOUR BACKYARD!" This is a very fun contest in which the randomly-selected winner gets to experience the joy and excitement of a national media clusterfuck in his or her own patio area! In this case, the family lived in Fairfax, VA and the kids were blond and adorable.
On Tuesday, Barack flew to Philadelphia, the fattest and most depressing city outside of Detroit. He gave a Back to Skool speech and nailed it, obvs. Then in charming ethnic-influenced rhythm-talk, he explained how he became the prince of a town called Bel-Air. The very handsome (no, seriously) Secretary of Education Arne Duncan was there also, doing crazy hijinks 'til Uncle Phil threw him out.
On Wednesday, Barry kicked it hard with General Ray Odierno and maybe they made out, or at least played Kill, Marry, Fuck with a bunch of drunk sorostitutes. Also there was a Cabinet meeting about the economy, and some shit-talking on dumbass Republicans who think it's gross for regular humans who do not belong to a kuntry klub to get tax cuts.
On Thursday, economic talky-talks happened. One thing involved some people who knows about exports, so I assume it was the Mafia (because I am Sicilian). The other thing involved CEOs, the subhumans who actually run this country. They talked about teaching children so that our economy gets awesomer, or something.
Have a good weekend, bitchrags! Try not to set anything on fire or lose any appendages before we chat again on Monday. It would be so gross if you were all fingerless and shit.