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You should really check out this column that's been floating around since last week, if you have not yet done so: "A full-blooded American." Random columnist Kathleen Parker quotes a 24-year-old West Virginian who said he will vote for John McCain over Barack Obama because he would be more comfortable with "someone who is a full-blooded American as president." Kathleen Parker, um, agrees, noting that "it's about blood equity, heritage and commitment to hard-won American values. And roots," that makes certain candidates "get" America. This Kathleen Parker is actually married to Lord Voldemort. [Jewish World Review via Matt Yglesias]

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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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WHOA THERE, it is a #HotScoop about something happening that portends the wrapping up of the Robert Mueller investigation, one that we can actually believe to a point, because of how CNN seems to have some receipts for its story. (Unlike what we always hear from reporters who shall remain nameless, like Ken Dilanian from NBC News.)

CNN is reporting that "as soon as next week," new attorney general William Barr will be announcing the "completion" of the Mueller probe and that Mueller will be sending some sort of report to Barr.

And just like that, this is you right now: WHOA IF TRUE, IS IT TRUE? IS HE JUST GOING TO LEAVE LIKE THIS? BUT WE HAVEN'T EVEN SAID GOODBYE!

And this is Robert Mueller right now: bUt We HaVeN't EvEn SaId GoOdByE!!!!!!!!

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