Barack Obama has been giving his Hopey speeches at gas stations recently, because they are very costly and he only visits the most expensive centers of commerce to buy things. So after buying his "premium gas" for his Lexus motorcar, he decided to take out his mahogany dais and speak to the Cretins purchasing regular "fossil fuels" with their wooden Discover credit scrip. He looks so dumb doing this, at the gas station, that we must take a full photo tour exposing his Rich dumbness.

We lied. Obama is such a snob about motorcars that he didn't know the car had to BE THERE for him to fill it up. He has never driven a car in his life. He rides a velvet-seated flying pineapple that runs on Dom Perignon champagne fuel. It was his racist white grandmother's present -- it is custom for the young princes of the Punahou Preparatory High School to receive flying pineapple on the eve of commencement (sponsored by Rolls Royce).

Fuck is he running from, besides the white guy checkin' out his ass? Oh, we see, he's running to a different white guy who promised him a "full tank of unleaded."

He just hates this Cro Magnon community so much. But they give him saltwater taffy so whatever.

AP Photos