Poor Barney Frank has been walking around with his arm in a sling. In order to cut off the constant questions and maddening sympathy from people he so obviously hates, his office sent this email to most of Capitol Hill:

Subject: Message For Your Boss From Congressman Frank

May 15, 2007

Dear Colleague:

I appreciate the concern expressed by many about why my arm is in a sling. In order to avoid having to repeat the same conversation, I am sending out this Dear Colleague.

I ruptured a tendon in my left arm using a curling machine in a gym, and I had it surgically repaired yesterday at Bethesda Naval Hospital. I'll be using the sling for a week or two, but I feel fine.

Thanks for not asking.

BARNEY FRANK

Stop bothering Barney Frank with your pointless human feelings of "concern"! He's got no time for that! He's gotta prove that he can advance the homosexual agenda with one arm tied behind his back. Or suspended slightly in front of him. Either way. Will totally turn all your kids into queers.