Haunting new revelations show that Barry Obama secretly attended a madrassa in Los Angeles, the so-called "Occidental" (which means Middle Eastern Muslim) College in the eastside neighborhood of Eagle Rock. Occidental is a perfectly respectable liberal-arts college with a real pretty campus, actually, and Obama went there for two years before transferring to Columbia. But for some reason, the college doesn't show up on his official biography. Why the secret shame?

According to teachers and students from those glorious days of 1980, it's because Barry was a pothead who couldn't stop listening to the B-52s and eating shameful "Hawaiian Pizzas" at the otherwise tasty Casa Bianca. In one of his books, Barry says he used to hang out with the black students and "the foreign students. The Chicanos. The Marxist professors and structural feminists and punk-rock performance poets .... When we ground out our cigarettes in the hallway carpet or set our stereos so loud that the walls began to shake, we were resisting bourgeois society's stifling constraints."

Nothing says Fuck the Man like eating a pineapple pizza, playing lame novelty-wave bands and pointlessly vandalizing the carpet!

Occidental recalls 'Barry' Obama [LA Times]