Comic Artiste Ben Garrison Wasn't Talking About *That* Don Quixote, You Guys

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On Thursday, rightwing artiste Ben Garrison proudly released his latest cartoon — featuring a brave and triumphant Donald Trump as Don Quixote chasing a frightened windmill of social media sites. While he had hoped it would inspire the masses to get behind Trump and his ridiculous class action lawsuit against these companies he claims "censored" him and other conservatives, it instead inspired them to point out that he had completely misunderstood the point of Don Quixote.

The point as you likely know, whether you have read the book or not, was that Don Quixote was heroically fighting windmills he thought were dragons — which, because they were windmills and not dragons, were therefore no actual danger to him or anybody. (Little did Miguel de Cervantes know about the windmill cancer.) This somewhat undermined the point that Garrison was trying to make.



Because Garrison has more than a bit in common with the man of La Mancha, he did not back down. Rather, he followed that star, no matter how hopeless, no matter how far ... and stood by his cartoon. He explained that in his artistic interpretation, "the windmill enemy is not imagined — it is real" and it is running away from big, tough, not-at-all delusional Donald Trump.

Except Don Quixote didn't think he was fighting threatening windmill enemies like some kind of old-timey Ted Cruz. He thought he was fighting dragons. If the point is that Trump is not delusional, he should be fighting a dragon. And should probably be someone other than Don Quixote.

And yet, Garrison continued to double down on Twitter, explaining that it was everyone else who was stupid for not understanding his artistic genius and use of metaphor.

Ok I need to talk slowly so the leftist twits can understand.

1. Yes, I realize that the Don Quixote character from Cervantes' novel attacked imaginary enemies as represented by the windmill, but Donald Trump Quixote's enemies are not imagined. I read the book, did you?

2. This is a twist on a classic metaphor. Did anyone even LOOK at the cartoon the "windmill" is running away and knows he has been caught. Trump is charging forward in defense of everyone's free speech including Democrats.

3.The Marxist mainstream media may condemn Trump's lawsuit as desperation and folly, but it's happening and a major lawsuit against the social media leviathans is long overdue.Right now censorship is happening to conservatives but it can/will happen to everyone if not checked.

5. And if you're here just to troll and get your derps in, that's your choice. But don't be shocked if I go all James Woods on you. Have a wonder America First Day!

It's hard to figure which is more of a serious threat — windmills or Ben Garrison "go[ing] all James Woods on you," whatever the hell that is supposed to mean. I hope it doesn't mean he will take all our teenaged daughters to Vegas!

The fact is, Trump's enemies are entirely imagined. Twitter and Facebook are private companies and therefore they are allowed to determine who can use their services, so long as they don't discriminate against people for being a protected class. Conservatives are not being censored for being conservatives, they are being kicked off a service for spreading fucked up conspiracy theories, threatening people, and saying racist, anti-Semitic, or otherwise bigoted bullshit. If we did that, we'd get kicked off as well. Our Jamie got suspended from Facebook for saying "men are trash" while talking about #MeToo! Wonkette gets throttled all the time, for being a common Wonkette. Conservatives are the ones who decided that these things are a part of their identity, not us. We'd prefer they didn't do them at all, frankly.

I for one, am interested in seeing more of Garrison's interpretations of classic literature — in which Scrooge is the poor put-upon hero of the story, in which the people of Boston were absolutely justified in requiring Hester Prynne to wear that scarlet letter, in which Winston Smith was rude and unpatriotic for refusing to say that 2+2=5, in which Javert is a righteous officer just trying to enforce law and order and Jean Val Jean deserved everything he got for having broken the rules to begin with.

The possibilities are endless, as long as you're willing to make shit up.


[Ben Garrison Twitter]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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