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Ben Nelson Is Funnier Than Even The Funniest Black Comedians

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You commies are always so upset with terrible Sen. Ben Nelson that you miss the whole friggin' point of his existence: Ben Nelsonshits humor. Think of the two funniest things ever, now. That's right: Ben Nelson was the comedian behind both the knock-knock construction and the JFK assassination! And as the Washington Post tells us this morning, he has even more jokes that he loves to play on his humorless legislative colleagues, so as to endear himself to them. Let's laugh at his jokes!


The Post came around to this "local color" piece by thinking of legislative pranks on par with those of Eric Massa, whose pranks were usually of the gay sexual harassment comedic flavor. Hey, whatever excuse it takes to get this old rainy-day A2 story off the shelves!

Then there's Sen. Ben Nelson (D-Neb.), who styles himself as an accomplished practical joker. A classic Nelson gag: asking incoming senators just before their swearing-in ceremony which Bible verses they'll read at the ceremony and watching them blanch at their unpreparedness. (There's no such requirement, you see.) During such lighthearted moments, the senator likes to show his hand with a hearty "Gotcha!," says Nelson's communications director, Jake Thompson.

Oh yeah... ha ha... wait, what? (NOTE TO SELF: AVOID FRUMPY CORN MAN.)

A favorite Nelson target is Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-Mo.). About two years ago, Nelson and some staff members sneaked into McCaskill's office and pasted Nelson's face over McCaskill's on all of her office photos. McCaskill paid him back a few months later by pasting University of Missouri Tigers garb on the pictures in Nelson's office.

OMG ASK HER OUT YOU KLUTZ!

[Washington Post]

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Seattle People, looking spunky. We hate spunky.

It is Friday, Yr Wonkette's back end (that's website talk) has been cranky all afternoon like a digital babby that needs a nap, and we are all stuck in the stupidest timeline. The one way we know it's not actually hell is that there are still adorable doggies and kitties and sloths, no to mention toddlers preschoolers named Donna Rose, and of course you, you lovely wonderful readers of ourn. And if you're in Eastern Washington or its environs, you can come out to meet Yr Editrix, Yr Shypixel, and Yr one day Benevolent Monarch Donna Rose come this Sunday in the Evergreen State's second-largest city, Spokane!

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